Infidelity strikes a relationship to the very core, and can damage it beyond repair. In fact, 60% of divorced couples cite a partner's unfaithfulness as the reason why their marriage ended.

But there's also one study that looked at unmarried adults after being betrayed by their partner, and about 45% of participants showed signs of infidelity-related PTSD. They exhibited higher levels of depressive symptoms, partially linked to negative post-traumatic thoughts.

So when Reddit user TheBaronofIbilin asked people who have caught their significant other cheating to describe how it unfolded, they received a number of heartbreaking and infuriating stories.

#1

I went to the dr for an IUD for birth control after our second child and while the dr was inserting the IUD in my cervix she informed me that I had an STD. I had only had sex with him for the past 10 years.

Image credits: summerpeachxo

#2

She was having too many “girls night out”. I was skeptical. I checked her location on FindMy and saw she was at the neighbor's house. He’s single. A betrayal like that is devastating.

Image credits: platypus5309

#3

Told me that he was at his parents' and would probably be spending the night...



I was over at his parents' for dinner. They had seen me on my way home from work and invited me over. I was about to ask him when he would be finished work, so that he could meet me there, then I saw the message.

Image credits: Internal_Echidna_946

#4

Caught her several times. The last time I decided to get it on tape. So I set up a camera. I didn't catch her cheating with it, but I did catch her abusing the kids in our daycare.



And that, friends, is how you win a house in a divorce.

#5

Not me but my mother - who had stage three bladder cancer at the time, had a knock on the door from a woman who told her that she was dating my dad. She said that she had heard my mum was on death's doorstep, and that she had been taking parenting classes and watching her take her kids inside from the car to prepare for the day she could adopt them. Real class act.

Image credits: Illustrious_Papaya_5

#6

I was using his laptop for my work meeting as mine was at the service center. I went to login my email and his was already logged in, first email was your flower delivery was successful. I didn't think much of it however curiosity got the best of me,



So I opened the email, and it was for some girl, scrolled a few emails down there were flight tickets, hotel reservation, car rental. He was f*****g multiple girls in the course of if our 2 years relationship.



I packed my bags, told him I forgive him for whatever he has done and I am not going to sit and blame myself or ask myself where I was wrong, because he was always the priority and left my research programme to stay with him. Cried my eyes out when driving back home and blocked him. 1 year and still devastated but good riddance.

Image credits: shittytherapistofdog

#7

She left her diary on the lounge room floor when she went to work. I debated reading it but eventually gave in.



Was then I found out about her f*****g my brother multiple times when I was working night shift.



When I confronted her about it, I was called a prick for reading her diary and for working night shift, therefore not being home when she got horny.



I tried to explain the difference in levels of the bad things we did, but she didn't see any.



For some reason, we didn't last after that...

Image credits: Bucephalus307

#8

True story (circa 1982). My Mum marched into my Dad's office at work one day and said "we need to talk" and he said "is this about Ramona?" and she said "who the f**k is Ramona?". Divorced a year later....don't think he ever found out what she wanted to talk about.

Image credits: viklas76

#9

I got let go from work early because we were overstaffed. She had ironically taken the day off for a "mental health day." I pulled up into the driveway and when I walked in the door I immediately heard moaning upstairs. I'm assuming she's m*sturbating. I go up there and open the bedroom door... And my wife is on her back. Except there's another woman straddling her face at the head of our bed whom she's eating out. It's another mom of one of the kids our kid goes to school with. I had no idea my wife was even into women at all.

Image credits: SlipperyPickle6969

#10

My ex used to run a construction business with a childhood friend. They were very close and his friend was in our wedding. Ex started stealing money from the business and lying about jobs. I didn’t know this until his friend showed up at our home demanding we pay him back. My ex refused and told him he was going solo in the business. The friend looked me dead in the eye and told me the woman's name. No other info but just the name. I immediately knew what he meant by the look in his eye. He then gave me the address. The house was built by my husband, four years prior.

Image credits: tarabletara

#11

Not me but a coworker.



Went on a Contiki tour with his missus for his 21st birthday. Booked a 45 day tour, seeing like 15 different countries. A week or two into the trip she gets caught getting finger blasted by some random Spanish dude in a club in Barcelona. He is obviously devastated, and now he has to face the prospects of potentially travelling for another month with the girl who just stomped on his heart.



He contemplated just calling it and flying home, but other members of the tour convinced him to stay, have a good time and to get on with his life and enjoy the holiday he paid for. He organized with Contiki and the tour guides to re work the accommodation so he was no longer in a room with her.



He told me he had a marvelous time, made some great new friends and got to experience new things. She was miserable the whole time as basically the entire group shunned her for being a massive PoS, ignored her on nights out, and she was desperately hoping to get back with her (ex) bf who wanted nothing to do with her.



He changed his flights on the way home to fly home later than she was, and extended his European holiday in order to keep the party going with some of the new friends he had made.

Image credits: PanzerBiscuit

#12

My wife announced at a holiday dinner that she was pregnant, I had a vasectomy 15 years before. Retested to make sure that no magic had reconnected. The next weekend at a large family picnic, I told everyone about my zero sperm count.

Image credits: Longjumping-Skill80

#13

Mine had a fictitious job which she was claiming she started early and had accepted an unpaid hand over period and was going to get paid from January the following year.

By February she still wasn’t getting paid and my best mate was strangely busy every time she was working. I waited for definite proof before breaking up with her as she had an illness which although real she exaggerated.

Lots of suspicious behaviour later I was really struggling.

In May she claimed to have been paid and I without snooping saw a letter about a bank loan on the bin.

That night was bin day I stood outside waiting for her to get home with the bin in my hand and saw his car show up down the road. They didn’t see me and I walked up to the car to see them kissing passionately.

Despite that she still denied anything was going on ?.

Image credits: Kooky_Weird4238

#14

Was driving our son around to get him to go to sleep. Ended up in the neighborhood of her office. Knowing she'd been working late a lot recently, I drove over there to see if she wanted me to bring her dinner. Ended up catching her with a redneck co-worker in the parking lot in his 70's hippy van. Went home and changed the locks.

Image credits: Wuddntme

#15

My then 3 yr daughter told her grandma about noises she heard from mom's room. then her grandma told me, ended it soon after, no explanation, just packed and left.

Image credits: Effective_Fish_3402

#16

Our seven-year-old, from the back seat of the car as I was driving her to school: “Mummy and me have had a really grown-up conversation about going to live with Mummy’s friend…”



It’d be going on for six months. We worked in the same place and she’d been taking him to work functions all that time whilst I was home with my daughter. I really was the last to know.



She left work but told everyone that she only cheated because I did first. Blatant lie. I had three months of work with people treating me like s**t because I got what I deserved - and then someone confronted me and told me what they all “knew”.



From my reaction, they worked out I was actually probably innocent. Was a rough time though.

#17

She was in the ICU on a ventilator and life support for 30 days. Docs had no answers and she was almost out of options. Gave her “significantly less than 50% chance” to live and told me to consider all possible explanations for her condition including hard d**g use. Decided to go through her phone in an attempt to find anything that might help. No d***s found but I did find an 18 month affair.

Image credits: Katniss_is_a_bitch

#18

Had a suspicion he was on Grindr, downloaded it and took screenshots of his (faceless but very obviously him) profile. I held onto it for a few weeks because I was honestly in shock, but one day he made a joke about how seedy gay guys can be and I just went "oh like this?" And showed him the screenshots. It was a very satisfying feeling watching him squirm!

Image credits: cheezgrator

#19

The wife of the guy that she cheated on me with spray painted a message on the side of her car in his driveway to stop f***ing her husband. It was apparently OK because she hadn’t told me that she aborted our child until 3 months after she disappeared out of my life through text. I was worried for nothing apparently.

Image credits: Stimbes

#20

Parked outside his house and asked him what he’s doing. He said “just relaxing at home” but he wasn’t home. Went through his phone that night and found everything. He was cheating with at least four other women.

Image credits: Conscious-Bass7653

#21

Ex-wife (married 10 years) needed an emergency shot of Imetrex for a migraine. Fumbling though her purse looking for it and found a tear in the fabric. Lo and behold she had condoms stashed in there along with some m*th. It was rough but I did end up with full custody of my two boys. Happily married to a wonderful woman now and everyone is ok. Even the ex, she eventually kicked her habit.

#22

She had done some unexpected personal grooming and packed lingerie to take to work with her. When we got home at the end of day and she went off to get ready for bed (clearly not intending to sleep with me), I pulled the very used lingerie out of her bag and confronted her. She evaded initially, but ended up confessing it was some guy from her work she had only met a couple of days earlier.





That was 3 weeks ago. She's still sleeping with the new guy while I've moved out and am trying to figure out how we sell the house we bought together 7 months ago. So, fun times.

Image credits: cedricsexypants

#23

Found her SmartWatch which she left at home when she was heading out to New Years Eve with "The Girls."



I thought it was going to be funny to "spy" on her texts as they watch was buzzing like crazy and I figured her and her friends were discussing meet up spots and the like....



Only to see kissy faces and hearts from a mutual online friend whom she was apparently meeting...



...yeah wasn't a great new year. Luckily that was Jan 2020 so that HAD to be the worst thing that would happen to me that year. Get it all out of the way at the start, right?



....right?

Image credits: Alexandratta

#24

I was rubbing her stomach in bed and she made a joke about not being pregnant assuring me she'd had a pregnancy test 2 weeks before. We hadn't seen each other in 3 months because she was studying in Scotland...

Image credits: Conscious_Reading_16

#25

Not my spouse (girlfriend), but I literally had a prophetic dream about it. I dreamed that she had taken me to a Mexican restaurant and told me that she cheated on me with one of our mutual friends a week prior to me actually finding out, and I wrote it in my dream journal because it had me really shaken up, (you know, those super hyperrealistic nightmare type dreams) but I dismissed it as paranoia.



Exactly a week later we went to go eat at a Mexican restaurant and she was acting a little bit strange… and my heart just dropped to my a*s and I felt my whole body start shaking. I knew I was right. And she looked at me and said “I have something to tell you” and I didn’t even let her finish, I just said “was it *****?” And her face went white as a f*****g ghost and I stormed out of the restaurant. She followed and I said some very mean things to her and dumped my leftovers in the back of her car… not my finest moment but hey, I’d never been cheated on before and it was a moment of extreme anger. If I could go back in time I would have held my head higher- I think that would have hurt her worse.



Listen to your gut, people!! The subconscious has a way of telling you what you need to know!!

Image credits: Acrobatic_Top7174

#26

She said she was at a friend's studying. I had suspicions about a guy she was working with so I drove about 30 minutes to his house and found her car there. I parked out front and called her. She picked up and I just let her bury herself as hard as I could. Asked her what she was studying, what the girls name was she was studying with, where she lived, everything I could think of to make her fumble about. Then I told her to look out front of the house she was in. When I saw her peek through a blind, I waved and told her to find a new place to live and to come get her things. I know things hadn’t been great for a while, but it was still a bummer to end like that.

#27

The, at the time, 22F AP sent me an email to clarify if my ex (39M then) and I (35F then) were truly divorced (we didn't). She and I immediately met that day and I found out that my ex was actively cheating on me for the past 2 years of my marriage, and that he was with her when he left me with no words for one entire month, among many other lies he had been feeding me and the AP from the get go. Needless to say I immediately processed the divorce -should've done that sooner when I noticed all the red flags, but it was easier to live in constant denial.



Fun fact: he called me out of the blue 4 years after the divorce to see how I was faring. I suppose he wanted to see me being miserable, but I was truly living my best life -still am :).

#28

I smelt the pu**sy on her breath and confronted her.. she broke down and admitted to f*****g around with her lesbian coworker. She was pregnant at the time. Wasn't mine. When I met her she was 2 months pregnant. After the break up I found out she was married to another guy the whole time and had bailed out on him while he was at work and moved in with me. Yes.. we dated a few months prior. Lived about 2 hours away. Got tired of the drive that's why we rushed a bit.. or at least that's why I did. Turns out she was just a nympho for anything that would touch her.

#29

She didn’t come home after dropping our youngest off at preschool 2 miles away for the afternoon session. I noticed she had makeup on and showered early, on her day off, which never happened. Watched her location and she was in a rural area she never goes to and it wouldn’t zoom in. Finally zoomed in and I screenshot it. Drove down and walked in on her, butt naked, in his trailer waiting for round 2. He was outside smoking a cigarette and when I walked up he looked like he thought I was about to [unalive] him.

Image credits: gingerviking_

#30

We had our Google photos synched (his idea!) so we could more easily share pics and see what the other person took pics of.



He was away for the weekend while I was laid up in bed with either a very sprained or broken ankle, so I wasn't able to join him like originally planned.



I was going through our shared photos trying to find a particular funny meme, and there were pictures taken that night of him and another girl all cuddled up. ?.

Image credits: FuzzyCats

#31

Every year, she would go to her country to stay with family during Christmas and New Years. I would stay behind as someone had to work and pay the bills and since we were together 24/7 living and working together, I thought it'd be a good thing for her to have some time to herself with her family.



This particular time, before she left, she was anxiously awaiting a package in the mail. They were supposedly pictures that she had made into an album that she wanted to bring with her. Days passed and the package never came. On the day that she left, I emailed her letting her know that the package came in. She told me to give it to her friend and that she would get it from her once she made it back. That set off an alarm in my head because if the package is safe at home with your husband, why would I give it to her friend? Why not just get it when you get back home, you know? A weird feeling came over me days later and I felt like I HAD to open it. Like something was telling me to do it. So I did. And what I found were pictures of her making out with some guy, pictures of her with this guy and her family as if they were a couple, pictures of her with his family and friends...I crumpled up the pictures in my balled fist and rage came over me. I couldn't sleep for 3 days straight.



Long story short, as much as I didn't want to, I ended up divorcing her. It took me a long time to recover from that as she was my one and only (so far ?). I've been single and haven't had a kiss or had sex in close to 10 years lol. Just can't seem to find the right one ?‍?.

#32

She'd been having sleepovers at her best galpal's. I was feeling weird about it. I snooped. She'd just sent nude photos to MY friend of her and the girl together.





I'd been feeling weird for a bit. On some level I knew.

#33

We had been having trouble conceiving. 2 miscarriages within a year. He’s convinced it’s something wrong with me and schedules me a well woman exam. I say fine, knowing it’s most likely due to my age and they won’t be able to do anything about that but go to the appointment anyway. They say if the labs come back abnormal they’ll call me. About 4-5 days later while at the store, he gets picked up for a warrant. I go back home and about 15 mins later the doctors office calls. Tells me I have an STI. No. That can’t be right. I’m married! I’ve only been with my husband. Silence on the other end ….can I tell you I was counting down the minutes for that free 5 min call from jail….

Image credits: Safe_Ambition3988

#34

I was suspicious, Spider Sense was tingling. She left her laptop open logged into her work email. Her lover was a coworker. Nothing was in the inbox. Dummy deleted all the emails but didn't delete her trash.



It was all there. Cool cool cool.

Image credits: SnatchAddict

#35

Not me but a friend: his wife and her side piece both left reviews on the same Airbnb for the same night.

#36

She was treating me horrible for weeks. I got suspicious so went through her phone. Found her Snapchat library of all the pics she took of herself to send off, and messages from a guy referring to those pics. I got the usual "how dare you go through my phone" b******t. It really sucks having to tell the kids that Mommy doesn't live here anymore....

#37

Well she was visibly showing pregnant after moving out about 45 days earlier.  We hadn't slept together in a year.  To be fair, we were in the death throes of our marriage but she couldn't even wait to move out of my house. 

#38

I went to her house and asked her grandma to let me use her computer. I found a letter to someone else telling him she loved him and even complaining about me. It was really hard in that moment. Now i see it as a blessing in disguise.

#39

My friend rang me up. Turns out she had been sleeping with guys at work. One of her coworkers didn’t like her and told my friend who promptly passed it onto me. I sent her a text saying we were done and then ghosted her. It’s the reason I don’t have any social media except reddit. From her perspective I essentially disappeared overnight. Hearing her freaking out for months from friends was satisfying. Haven’t seen her in over 10 years now.



If anyone is cheated on don’t do anything stupid. Just remove yourself from them completely. It’s the best revenge you can get.

#40

Her affair partners daughter called me. He was 25 years older than her so it was an adult daughter, his wife found out and had her daughter call me since she had babysat my kids before.

#41

My bf and flatmate went out for drinks while I stayed home with a flu. I fell asleep on the sofa watching TV and woke up to noises upstairs. It sounded like moaning and kissing. My heart sank and I felt like throwing up as I silently crept to my bedroom to peer in.



My flatmate was on top of my bf half naked. She saw me and leapt off and ran out to her bedroom & shut the door. I yelled and banged on it and she ignored me. I went to him to yell & get an explanation & he pretended he was asleep. Completely ignoring me. And denying it the next day.

#42

I became suspicious when her attitude suddenly changed to scorn and she started blaming me for anything that happened. She started getting drunk, and she'd never done that before. She started buying new underwear and "going to work" for extra shifts. The people at her workplace started treating me different and being stand offish. Then my 8 year old son was telling me about her conversations with him and the new dad. That was the last straw.

#43

Found out she was pregnant.



A few weeks later we're cuddling on the couch, and I get a call from my sister on the opposite side of the country. She informs me that some random woman on Facebook messaged her claiming her husband and my wife were having an affair. I didn't believe it, but it was all true. I was military, and she was meeting up with married grunts in hotel rooms.



Literally two weeks after we learn we're expecting a child, not even a year into the marriage, I find this out.



Edit: this was in 2014. At the time, if someone you weren't friends with sent you a message on Facebook, the message went to a different folder that could only be accessed through Facebook on a web browser. It did not show in the app. The lady that messaged my sister had messaged me months prior, but I never saw any of the messages because I only used the Facebook app.

Image credits: Alert_Attention_5905

#44

I came home 3 days early from a work tour and caught her in the act.

#45

She handed me her phone and asked me to proof read an email she was going to send to her director that morning and in comes a text from some dude I've never heard of.



They had hooked up the week before while I was on a work trip.



They'd been sexting for weeks. They met while she was out with girls.

#46

She got home around 5-6 am after a company "dinner". Slept on the couch even tho i insisted we go to bed. Around 10 I asked her how It went but she just said It was good and continued sleeping. I told her we could speak when she felt better (More awake).

Turns out she slept with her boss. We separated about 2 months after that and they had a son together.

#47

My husband and I were sharing an iPhone charger one time while out and about with some friends. My phone battery was running low so I went to the car to plug it in and when I unplugged his phone to plug mine in, low and behold when the screen lit up, I see an “I love you so much. Can’t wait to see you later.” Turns out he’d been screwing our neighbor for a few months. He’d wait until I fell asleep and then sneak over to her parent’s house. That’s right she was 30 and still living with her parents. We divorced and he went on to cheat on her at least three times and even went as far as marrying one of them for a year before divorcing this affair partner and going back to the original AP. Both are stupid as hell because everyone knows he will cheat again.

#48

First, I was awoken in the middle of the night with my ex calling me to pick him up. I had fallen asleep with him next to me hours earlier. He was pulled over by the police and they impounded the car. His story was that he got up in the middle of the night to drive to the beach to watch the sunrise. Sure, Jan.



Then he came home a few times from work (a white collar job), 2-3 hours late, and went directly to shower. I dropped by his work to ask him something and he kept running away from me, wouldn't speak to me or even acknowledge my existence. I had to pick up his paycheck another time and told the receptionist why I was there, because he was in a meeting. She proclaimed that I couldn't be his wife because she knew for a fact that he was not married.



I confronted him and told him I knew he was cheating, and he told me I was "mentally unstable" and was going to have me "involuntarily committed to a mental hospital".



I put a keystroke tracker on his computer. I found the secret email account and the girlfriend. I knew her name, where she worked, and that he had been on dating sites for years. I changed the locks and left a note on the front door. We had been married for 20 years.

#49

Told him I was going out with a few of my coworkers after work. Ended up drinking a bit too much, so I texted him that I'd be home later once I sobered up. Made it home around midnight and the first thing I noticed was a pair of car keys I never saw before. I immediately went on the hunt. I tried opening the bedroom door, but it was locked. After a few choice words, he eventually shuffled out by squeezing himself out of the bedroom through a cracked open bedroom door in just his boxers. He told me it wasn't what it looked like and begged me to let her out of the house without any drama. I told him to get her tf out of our house. As she tried running out, I caught a glimpse of her. It was his supervisor from work. After she left, I immediately began grilling him about how they wound up in the bedroom. He had invited her over to play his new video game I had bought him, but she started to get a headache. He didn't feel it was appropriate for his guest to lay on our "hard" couch, so he let her lay in our bed. Mind you, we had a guest room. Alright. So now we know how she got into the bedroom, how'd she get naked and how is this not cheating? This moron said "well, she wasn't comfortable in her clothes. So, she needed to be naked to sleep. But it's not cheating because she slept UNDER the covers and I slept ON the covers while still wearing my boxers." Safe to say I divorced him, reported them to their superiors, and left their dumb a**es. Last I heard from my old neighbors, they got married. He cheated on her, she cheated on him, and they fight in the front yard.

Image credits: Lil_miss_feisty

#50

I was in the hospital at the time. He had forgotten to turn off his location. I saw on the Find My app that he was at her house. Apparently that was the third time. Divorce pending.

#51

My bf and I each had our own laptops but he used his for creating music in a home studio he made. So since it was always hooked up to an elaborate situation, he often used my computer to check his stuff. Well one day he got careless and didn't log out of Facebook properly.



I got on my computer and saw that I had a dm notification. Clicked on it and saw that I didn't know this person but there was a conversation. It was then I realized that I'm on my bf account not mine. And that message, while not spicy, was revealing. It was an old high school lady friend. She asked if he was in a relationship and he answered that he was single and has been for a while. A surprise to me as a live in gf of 3 years.



I don't know. There was just something in me that ignited. I went ham and started searching everywhere to see if this was a one time lie or if there was something more bubbling beneath the surface.



Well...I was able to contact the cell phone company and printed out phone records. He called a specific number over 1000 times within the record timeframe I pulled, which was maybe like 3 months. It wasn't his family or his best friend. I had their numbers. I did some more sleuthing and found an old phone of his and charged it and searched for this number. It was his ex gf.



I took a highlighter and marked every single instance and then took the stack of papers to confront him. I asked if he was in contact with his ex and of course he denied it. So I threw the proof at him and said how crazy it was that his phone just called her 1000 times in the past three months.



This paired with his drastic drop in libido (which I was giving grace about because he said he was stressed about his s****y job) and I realized it's over.



Spoiler alert. They were together very shortly after I moved out. But I suspect he cheats on her too because the ex gf and the Facebook lady friend were two different people.

#52

I went to the mailbox to retrieve the mail and found a statement from a bank we didn't use with her name and another man's name on it. That's when I knew we were done.

Image credits: PizzaWall

#53

Ex husband slept with his best friend’s pregnant girlfriend who was in the process of aborting his best friend’s kid. Found out when I came home from an out of state trip and she was moved into the house we bought together and walked in on them. They had known each other for 1 month and we had been together 6 years.

Image credits: womp_womp101

#54

Checked Grindr. There he was trying to hook up with anyone in a 5 mile radius. He got mad that I caught him and acted like it was an invasion of privacy lmao.

#55

That STD I got did come from somewhere. And it was certainly not from me f*****g around. And he didn't even defend himself when I confronted him. He was basically like "'I've been to Greece for 5 weeks. What do you expect me to do?". My only comment to that was asking him what he thinks "monogamous" means.



And the second one caught himself cheating. He canceled our date night because he needed to work late. So I went to the restaurant we had a table at anyways, and asked a friend of mine if he wanted to join. We didn't even sit down before my ex entered the room with his tongue buried deep inside the mouth of his "co-worker".

#56

She asked me to get her keys, and next to them was a morning after pill. (We hadn’t had sex for over a week).

#57

He totaled my car while dropping her off after a date.

#58

I found a bunch of his clothes in the back of a cupboard down stairs hidden behind tinned food. He said it was old clothes he was going to use as rags. Red flag but decided to take his word for it. Then got an std after only being with him the last 5 years. Turns out my boyfriend and my best friend were both absolute rotten people and would hook up at our house while I was on night shifts (bf and i lived together). Jerks.

#59

Found a message on his phone from a mutual friend of ours that read, "I can't stop thinking about all the things I want to do to you when I see you again". We'd been together for 6 years and I was 4 months pregnant at the time.

#60

I went to put something in the bathroom bin and when I opened the lid, a tissue fell out. I picked it up to put it back in and a used condom fell out of it. We didn't use condoms...

#61

Not my spouse, but my SO. It was purely accidental. My sister was home visiting so I was at my parents’ watching a movie and it was late so I initially said I was probably going to crash there since he was out anyways with “friends”. After the movie ended I actually decided not to stay at my parents’.



It was a shared parking lot for two multi-family homes. When I pulled in, I hadn’t seen his car. However, the kitchen light came on. Stupidly my first thought was “Oh my God!! We’re being robbed!!” But instead of doing the logical thing you do if you think someone has broken in and calling the police, I went in. By the door were women’s shoes that didn’t belong to me and then I heard a woman’s voice. It felt so surreal. I kept walking further into the house and to the bedroom. I found him on the bed and a woman coming out of the bathroom in her bra. I was speechless. I turned around and started to walk out and the woman followed me and asked how I got in and who I was! When I said “Um I got in with my key because I’m his girlfriend who lives here” she said “Are you sure?”



I got in my car and drove back to my parents’ and woke the whole house up hysterically crying.



The guy tried to play it off like he was so drunk he didn’t know what was happening. As if anyone could fall for that excuse. She had been calling him “babe” so it seemed deeper than that anyway.



The worst part was the woman wouldn’t let it go after. She got my number somehow. She sent me all the messages between her and my boyfriend even though I asked her to please just leave me alone. She watched my social media stories for months afterwards, until I finally made it all private. I felt bad for her at first because obviously she was hurt too, but it was just too much for me. I told her that night she was more than welcome to the man.

#62

Overheard him on the phone to her making plans to meet up. He thought I was asleep. She was an ex of his.



Told him to get the f**k out the next day. He was with her for a few years, 6 maybe? They had a kid, and I understand she dumped his loser a*s. I hope she took him for all the child support she could get. (After my take anyways). Our kid is 24 now, and NC with him, I have no idea if he’s even still alive.

#63

Suspected something was up, catfished him on a "dating app" from another country using VPN and fake GPS, and boom. It was so smooth, awful but seamlessly smooth.

#64

He went out with friends, I had a panic attack same night. Tried calling him, texting, no response for hours which was really unusual. He came home around 2 AM (he was anti-social so it was odd he was out so long) and drunk as could be. I did my spousal duty and got him into bed, and then opened his phone to turn off the alarms I knew he’d have going off early in the morning, and had a hunch to open his text threads, which I had only ever done once before (and that time had only found a bumble account he convinced me he had only made because we were talking about finding a third for our relationship. Dumb, I know.)

Went downhill from there and found out our 4 1/2 year relationship had been entirely a lie & he had been cheating on me off and on the entire time. Found all of the texts & sexual videos and pictures between him & 5 other people over the course of 4 years + texts from the person he made out with in the bar that night & his dating profiles (complete with pictures of my cats & pictures of him from our WEDDING ?). Most of it had been on a Snapchat account he had made separate from the one I knew about & I was honestly very naive & trusting so I didn’t think to question his loyalty entirely until that night when my gut said something was really wrong.

#65

Over a decade ago....Was getting ready for work one morning, my now ex's phone went off...like it was really early, too early for a message. Assumed an emergency so checked it. Was a message from someone I didn't know. Asked her about it and she said there was no message. Ohhhhkkkay, so I pulled it out of her. Worst thing was it wasn't just that guy I didn't know but she was also messing around with a supposed good friend I had at work.

#66

I went through my husband's phone because I wanted to prove to myself that there was nothing to be paranoid about... it was the opposite. I'll never be able to forget all the pictures and conversations.

#67

Was shopping in a supermarket after work, heard her voice and thought oooh I’ll say hello, looked down the aisle and saw her with her ex and heard them saying about what they was cooking for dinner tonight.



I got home and phoned her and she said “I can’t go out tonight I’m sick” so I tried to push it and say oh no your sick I’ll came and cook dinner for you then, turned into a huge argument about me not respecting her space.

#68

Smell. They had a different odor on them (like

Men’s cologne) and then they fessed up.

#69

She insisted she drop me off for work so she could hang out with a old friend I never heard of (weird but OK). I got let off early so I called her for a ride, no answer red flag #1. Called her mom to get said friends info, her mom said she had a falling out with that friends and hated her now. That was red flag #2. Her mom tried calling her but it kept going straight to voice mail. So her mom came to give me a ride home (and got herself all worked up abut what ditch we'd find my wife in) she decided to wait there till I was scheduled off to see if she came for me. She did and upon seeing her parents and me standing together she came clean.



Edit: Forgot to mention since it was the 90's we had a plate on the front of my truck that had our names on it. It was off when she came and made a stupid excuse as to why it was off.

#70

Day out with my son , and he says " i cant find my ipad" . Boom hit up the IOS find my app and bam . Why is my sons ipad at a hotel. Lets just say that ipad was lost for a while. I tracked and collected evidence.

#71

We’ve always had trust issues and it was a toxic relationship so we always went thru each others phones, texts, etc. I worked overnight one day I went through her phone and saw texts of her saying “he’s sleeping right now I’m coming” and more other texts like that so basically she was taking my car while I slept through the day until the next shift to go see other dude… I saw nudes and other stuff she sent as well.

#72

She was texting someone all evening, hiding her phone behind her leg, smiling at the screen. She’d been cold and distant for weeks. I checked her phone messages the next morning and she had been shagging the VP of sales at her company, turns out the “work trips” she’d been going on were all weekend getaways.



I confronted her and she said it would never have happened had I not been neglecting her. I apologised and said that looking after our 18 month old daughter while also trying to keep my own freelance business going, while she’s out all day at her full-time job, tends to leave me drained by the end of the day.



She went to her parents’ house to “give me some space”, left me with our daughter obvs, I checked her iPad and she was messaging him arranging another “work trip”. When she came back I confronted her again, she said I had violated her privacy.



She divorced me for unreasonable behaviour as she didn’t want a publicly recorded divorce for infidelity, she also hid a large amount of money during the financial separation but was caught thanks to an accidentally redirected piece of postal mail. I got half of it but had already spent it on legal fees.



She later blamed it all on post-natal depression so none of it was her fault.

#73

Making efforts to look fabulous for supposedly mundane things, school run, or market trip, or coffee with the girls (coincided with uptick in let's call it body maintenance and refusal for my company on said errands). So I think a part of you will know if something atypical is occurring in your couple's routine.

#74

She doesn't realize her AP came clean to me this month. We separated in March, and she has apparently been with him since December. Told him we were already separated. The reason he came to me is that she admitted to cheating on him with a guy who has been married for 10 years and is planning on divorcing his wife for her. He gave me everything I needed to prove an affair, so props to him....btw all of these guys are online and have never met her as far as I know.

#75

He connected his phone to apple carplay while we were on the way to ER because i was sick at that time. The b***h called while we were driving. She was an ex. The name was on the screen so I put her on speaker and the b***h had the audacity to tell me “I’m not talking to you I wanna talk to your husband”. I will never forget the feeling just wanting to get into a car accident or throw up. They didn’t stop right there, my husband spoke to her when wet got home.

#76

I knew for months but had no proof. She came into the bar I worked at and got wasted. Went through her phone while she was indisposed and found pictures and messages with the guy. She had him saved under the name of a friend.

#77

She and I worked at the same place. I was working over night and she was working days. It was my birthday and she was to work 12 hours Saturday and Sunday, 4am-4pm. My team had just released new code and had to do a lot of bug fixes and I was stuck working 4pm-4am. My teams bullpen was just inside the door so I always looked to see if I could see my wife leaving. I didn’t see her leave and she didn’t stop in to wish me a happy birthday.



About an hour into our shift my manager noticed I was there and my section of code had no more bugs and I was helping other people, he offered me the chance to go home for the weekend. I jumped at it and left.



I pulled into my drive way around 6:00pm and my house was empty. I figured my wife had to run to the store or maybe went to grab dinner.



When she and I worked opposite shifts like this I would always call her on my first and last break, so around seven when she still wasn’t home I called her. When she answered I just asked her how her day was and what she was up to, she said she was just sitting on the couch with the dog. I was literally on the couch with the dog so I decided to see what she had to say. She said she had a good day but was really tiered and just going to go to bed. I never told her I was home but instead let her think I was still at work. When we got off the phone I called a friend who works in her department and found she had been switching her work station to work with the same guy for about 3 months, (we had only been married about 5 months at this point) that she hadn’t been at work that day and wasn’t going to be at work the next day.



I used some unethical means to find his address, I called a friend and we went over to his house, we saw her car parked in his drive way and decided to just bring the car home with us. (I gave it to her as a wedding gift) we brought it home filled it with her cloths. The next day she called me crying saying someone stole the car, I tried to get her to file a police report but she wouldn’t so I finally just told her the car was in my drive way and she could come get it when she was done with her new boyfriend, and I already packed for her.

#78

Found out his reddit name and searched what he had been commenting on and it unravelled from there.

#79

She facebook messaged while I was using his computer. I wouldn't have even bothered to look at his messages. Fully trusted him. Was going to tell her he wasn't on, but I took notice because he had sent a picture of himself without a shirt. Same one he had sent me when we first started dating. Got to see her tits in a bra, too. That was fun to see.



Talk about my world stopping in that moment. Everything went black for a minute. I seriously consider that moment when my life split into "before" and "after". It changed me. Changed how I see relationships. How I view love. How I look at myself. It rocked my very existence. He will never understand what it did to me.

#80

During a rough patch in our relationship, she didn't let me visit her, call her, or even hang out in places where she usually goes. I asked her to be honest with me after a few weeks. She told me that she went out with her ex because they were still friends and he comforted her at that point. I asked her if anything happened, she said that he just held her hand and hugged her because she was sad. Not knowing what to say, I joked and asked why she kissed him, to which she answered, "I don't know".

#81

We had been together for 7 years, I wasn't allowed to touch his phone or be friends on social media

He used to work away for a month, and be home for a week

On one of his weeks home, he was being very distant and nasty to me. He went out one night and had just gotten a new phone, i was trying to get into his old phone, a laptop and tablet but I didn't know any passwords

I got lucky and guessed the password to his tablet, it was just for his drone, so it didnt have any apps or anything but had work emails on it. So I was just scrolling through emails and it was just normal work stuff and then I came across an email He had sent to himself.

When I clicked on it, a bunch of naked/half naked pics and videos popped up on the screen of a woman from his past and that I had gone to school with.

I took pics of it on my phone, sent them to him and said we were over. I stayed at a friend's place that night, while he packed and left

My heart broke seeing it but it needed to happen, so I could finally let go of that toxic relationship.

#82

I had already dumped him because he accused me of cheating every other day and i was tired of proving my innocence while i wasn't involved in any suspicious situation. It was taking a toll on my mental health, i suffered from insomnia and i started to panic every time my phone rang. So, against all my friends' opinions, i stopped trying to solve problems and i dumped him. I asked him back the necklace i gave him (we didn't like rings, so it was a sort of promise necklace) and threw it on the highway on my way home, it was liberating.



Fast forward some months. My friend was showing me her childhood friend on Facebook. Among her contacts, my ex's university friend "the girl i shouldn't worry about". We looked at her photos, and there was a pic of her with my ex, shirtless, on a bed, and the piece of c**p was wearing my necklace so it was before our breakup. I didn't catch him on the spot, but it was liberating to figure out what was happening.

#83

Went thru her phone messages and saw an unsaved number that had notifications silenced.

#84

While at school she kept inviting "friends" from the other side of the country to visit for a week or two at a time. Figured something was up, but never really could find anything out. I would generally spend time with these "friends" at a pub down the street, and the third one told me that they were in a LDR and she lied about her status of being married with a kid. He thought it was strange I wasn't hitting on the waitresses or the ladies at the bar, and realized that we were together when I told him why would I try have a snack when I got a meal at home. Told me all the details.

#85

Saw her phone. She opened Snapchat while I was laying on her shoulder watching a movie, boom, her and her boobs in a conversation. I asked what the f**k, which is reasonable, so I grabbed her phone out of her hand and saw she’d been sending dude naked pics and m*sturbation videos. Don’t ever trust “he’s my best friend”.

#86

I never even considered the possibility. I thought we were doing great. Power couple and everyone envied us. Sex was awesome and nearly daily. I found out because her sister is yelling at her. I don't know enough of the language to understand and they are talking very fast. Finally it gets so hard that i break it up and ask what this is about. Her sister reluctantly tells me and my wife doesn't deny it.



I am stunned but i calmly ask my sister in law to leave so we can discuss it privately.

#87

I didn't directly catch her but had a suspicion something was going on. One evening we are at a public event and my wife is working a booth she was assigned to so I'm walking around killing time until the event is over. Out of the crowd there is a woman standing there looking directly at me in the eye. Somehow, some way, I immediately knew this woman was the other cheating victim.



She approached me and already knew my name. She asked if we could go somewhere and talk. So we ended up in a booth at the McDonald's across the street. She lays out all the evidence she collected that her husband is f*****g my wife. None of this was a surprise to me oddly enough. Everything fit together with my suspicions. We sat for a while while I absorbed everything.



What DID surprise me was this woman then proposed that we go to a nearby motel and revenge f**k to get back at my wife and her husband. I politely turned this down because she was clearly not in her right state of mind and there was no way escalating the situation was going to help anything.









Edit: some followup info as requested. My wife and I went to separate gyms two or three times a week. Suddenly her pattern changed. She wanted to go to the gym almost every day and she started wearing makeup to workout which she never did before.



Also her libido changed. Every time she got back from the gym she wanted to f**k like a tiger in heat. I welcomed this because I'm a high libido guy but it still struck me as odd that why now all the sudden is she horny all the time? I don't know if she was pretending I was the other guy??



Finally anytime, anyplace she would break down crying. She would never tell me why. It might be at home or out in public. I strongly suggested she get checked for depression but she insisted she'd "figure it out" on her own.



This leads us to the festival where my wife was running a booth while I encountered the other wife.



After everything came out it turned out the other husband had started talking to my wife every day at the gym. He was persistent and wore her down. She really did turn out to be depressed which does not excuse cheating but she was weak when this guy was coming on strong.



In retrospect the other wife did have more than a passing resemblance to my wife. I guess these women were his type.



I'd be lying if I said my d**k didn't twitch when she offered to go to the motel. But if we f****d then we would have given up all the moral highground with what would come next. I don't think she saw this at the time. She wanted revenge on my wife and the best way to guarantee no reconciliation would have been making everybody a cheater.



But I wanted to deal with my wife on my own terms. I wanted to maintain the moral high ground. I talked with the other wife a few more times to sort out evidence and talk about attorneys but I never did indulge.



The other wife ended up remarried to a new guy about six months later.



My wife and I went through years of marriage counseling and she was treated for bipolar disorder. She eventually finished her therapy and even doesn't need meds anymore. She is a completely different person and we've been married eighteen years now with her affair being over ten years ago.



I will say the experience broke something in me. I could walk out the door right now if she ever cheated again. But at the same time our marriage is stronger than it's ever been. It's a very strange dichotomy that I don't even understand.



Yeah, it could have been the hottest sex ever but I don't regret it.

#88

We were on bed, went to the rest room, then a message from "sex slave" arrived, read the conver