Turning a relationship into a lasting marriage requires effort, time, compromise, and compatibility. Unfortunately, many marriages do not last and end in divorce. Here are seven top reasons why marriages and relationships often fail.
1. Conflict and Avoidance Causes Divorce
7 Stealthy Threats That Could End Your Marriage One key to a successful relationship is creating a space where both partners feel safe to express their feelings, needs, and desires. Yet, many people go to great lengths to avoid conflict and the difficult conversations that are necessary for a healthy relationship. Connie Omari, Ph.D., points out, "Avoiding conflict is a silent relationship killer because it prevents the opportunity for addressing conflict to take place." Consequently, couples suppress their emotions, leading to resentment. "Not learning these skills is a sure way to kill your relationship silently," she concludes.
2. Emotions Need Validation
7 Stealthy Threats That Could End Your Marriage Another prevalent issue leading to divorce is when one partner fails to validate or respect the other's feelings. Dr. Omari notes that even minor dismissals, like rebutting a partner's comment about feeling cold with "it's not cold," can be subtly harmful and dismissive. "Feeling invalidated can make a person feel disconnected and ignored," she says. "These two characteristics combined will definitely work to deteriorate a relationship quickly."
3. Infidelity Leads to Divorce
7 Stealthy Threats That Could End Your Marriage It might seem obvious, but the frequency of cheating among Americans is alarmingly high. Various factors can drive a person to stray from their relationship, including feelings of being unloved, unheard, or invalidated, as well as personal struggles like low self-esteem or depression.
4. Feeling Unappreciated
7 Stealthy Threats That Could End Your Marriage Another significant cause of divorce is when one or both partners feel unappreciated or undervalued. This often occurs when one partner's achievements are met with criticism instead of praise or acknowledgment. For instance, if one partner finishes a work project ahead of deadline but forgets to take out the trash, it's easy to focus on the oversight rather than recognizing their hard work. These moments are crucial opportunities to show appreciation for each other's efforts.
5. Confusion Regarding Responsibilities
7 Stealthy Threats That Could End Your Marriage Disagreements over household responsibilities also lead to a high number of divorces. It's vital for both partners to contribute equally to the home and openly discuss and agree on how chores and tasks are divided. Resentment can build when there is a perception that one person is doing more than the other, damaging the relationship.
6. Marrying Too Young
7 Stealthy Threats That Could End Your Marriage Many people experience their first serious relationships at a young age, but these early bonds often don't last into later life. Marrying young can lead to problems as individuals change and grow, sometimes in incompatible ways. As people evolve, they may find they want different things from life or develop into very different individuals, causing couples to grow apart.
7. Different Perspectives Cause Divorce
7 Stealthy Threats That Could End Your Marriage As mentioned, individuals undergo significant changes from adolescence into their thirties and beyond, which might include shifts in religious beliefs or political views. Having aligned views, values, or goals is crucial for strengthening a relationship and ensuring both partners are moving in the same direction.
Eliminating the Possibility of Divorce
7 Stealthy Threats That Could End Your Marriage While divorce might sometimes be the necessary choice, it's important to consider other options first. One approach is a "trial separation," which allows each partner to experience life apart. Often, this period can help couples appreciate each other more and might even lead to reconciliation. Additionally, it's crucial to treat each other with love, respect, and compassion, focusing on the positive aspects each partner brings to the relationship. However, love alone isn't enough for a marriage to thrive. A successful, enduring relationship also requires compatibility, compromise, and patience. Engaging in open and honest discussions about significant topics, such as parenting, whether to have children, and each person's core values and expectations from their partner, is essential.
