People often consider animals to be full members of their families - and indeed, sometimes there are special animals that fully justify such a status. Well, if it's a family member, then it must have some outstanding name.
And it's good if it's the usual Max or Simba, Bella or Luna. But very often, pet names become a peculiar way of self-expression for their owners. And then it might turn into something that makes veterinarians crack up when registering a new patient.
Recently, a popular thread appeared on Reddit, which has already gained about 70.1K upvotes and more than 21.4K various comments. The topic starter asked just one simple question addressed to veterinarians: "What was the worst pet name you have ever encountered in your job?" Of course, not only vets came to comment and as a result, there is a huge number of names, including some very bizarre ones.
Bored Panda has compiled a curated list with a selection of the most interesting, funny and terrible names that the owners gave their pets for some incomprehensible reason. So feel free to scroll to the very bottom, comment and perhaps tell us what other unusual and bizarre pet names you've come across during your life.
More info: Reddit
#1 Bond. James BondMom owns a vet practice so had a lot of these.
Best/worse pet parents named their cat D.O.G. and their dog C.A.T.
James Bond was my favorite doggy (Pekinese). He was hilarious.
There were so many Mittens, Fluffys, Spots and Buddy's they got lost in the sea of animals.
Worst story was a rescued golden retriever who was so malnourished they nick named him Pancake. Sadly, Pancake's kidneys were done so he dies 2 days after he was rescued by the local animal control. The two days I got to feed and spend time with him made it all the harder to realize he could have been saved if his family had let him go instead of leaving him chained up in the yard before they left.
I hate people a lot of the time.
Edit: Thanks for all the love friends! I still have a picture of him on my phone. Won't forget him like his owners did.
Image credits: AzureaWinds
#2 Facepraisethehaze wrote:
Old neighbor lady had a cat named “face”
because it had a beautiful face, she said.
that actually works great if she has three other cats named Hannibal, BA, and Murdock.
BA: “I pity the fool who tries to get me in that cat carrier.”
Murdock: “have some milk, BA”
BA: “Milk does a body good, fool! thump snores
Image credits: praisethehaze
#3 SaladMy brother in law named his cat Salad.
Image credits: LeagueIllustrious
#4 KidslookintouchableSo I’m not a vet, but I’m deeply involved in the horse world. There’s a “discipline” called halter, and many of the horses are genetic atrocities to begin with. They’ve been bred to the point of uselessness.
When naming quarter horses, many breeders like to create a registered name that incorporates the parents’ names and bloodlines. So, somebody bred together the stallion Kid’s Classic Style and the mare Lookin’ Touchable. The best name that the breeders could come up with for the foal?
Yeah. That’s the best they could come up with.
Image credits: ModernPlagueDoctor
#5 Julia ChildI used to walk a dog named Julia Child.
Every time I came over, I would open the door and go "Ms. Child, your 2 O'clock is here." And neither of us would laugh, but hey that's showbiz.
Image credits: BashSwuckler
#6 Sexyprouvairee wrote:
Sexy - for a chihuahua. Just made the whole consultation very awkward.
If you could just lift Sexy up here please, thank you.
Now I might need your help to hold Sexy down.
I'm going to put this in your butt Sexy but I'll be quick
Image credits: prouvairee
#7 Notorious P.i.g. Aka Piggy SmallsNotorious P.I.G. aka Piggy Smalls for a Guinea pig
On second thoughts, add that to the best name ever encountered!
Image credits: Eternalsunshine0303
#8 Tdl - That Damn IguanaNot a vet...
Growing up, I had a friend who owned an iguana named TDI.
That Damn Iguana
(named by his mother who haaaaaaated it, as I recall)
Edit: I'm cracking up that my highest rated comment has to do with That Damn Iguana ?
Image credits: BrinaElka
#9 KevinI was once at the dog park and this lady kept yelling at her dog. "Kevin! Get over here Kevin!" "Let me take your picture, Kevin!" "Kevin!" Kevin was an old, overweight black lab. I still laugh when I think about it.
Image credits: Lyndseyshe
#10 AskimMy dad has always wanted a dog named “askim” so when someone asks what your dog’s name is you can just say “askim”
Image credits: Edible_Goat
#11 Google And Explorerconversesap wrote:
When I adopted my two cars from the shelter, the staff had named them after internet browsers and search engines. I got Google and Explorer. Another couple got Firefox and Bing. Mine were promptly renamed.
It’s good that you’re adopting your cars instead of buying the cars from a breeder. Man I hate BMWs
Image credits: conversesap
#12 OzarkOn the reverse side of this, a vet told me she thought my cat’s name was weird!
My cat’s name is Ozark, which might seem strange since I’m a maritime Canadian. She’s not named after the show or the mountains really, but rather after the Ozark Howler, which is some kind of devil cat/bear cryptid thing in those mountains that screams a lot. My cat likes to yowl when we’re not giving her attention, so I thought it fit.
Image credits: Snerpahsnerr
#13 Meat StackOne of my boys wanted to name one of our dogs Meat Stack. (My son was 6 when we adopted the puppy). Same kid wanted to name his brother Turtle Flower when he was born. Needless to say he is not in charge of naming things in our household.
Image credits: retina99
#14 Oreofoulinbasket wrote:
Not a vet, but I lived in the Marshall Islands for a few years and I noticed that all black male dogs are named "lakilimej" (black boy), all white male dogs are named "lamoujouj" (white boy), all brown male dogs are "laburaun" (brown boy), and all black and white dogs are named "oreo"
We adopted a black and white bunny named Pickles. The rescuer we adopted from told us later that his previous family had called him Oreo, but "every damn black and white animal gets named Oreo."
Image credits: foulinbasket
#15 Medium ManNot a vet but we rescued a chihuahua and ended up naming him “Lil Man”
Now he’s overweight and I call him Medium Man
Image credits: Mailmn
#16 Dave & AtariObligatory, not a vet. I was in the vet's waiting room, and there was a puppy with a woman and a child. The puppy was named Dave, the child was Atari.
Image credits: RhydYGwin
#17 Hungry Jack Biscuitsarcasmgnome wrote:
Had a client who let each of their 3 children name the cat. The poor cat’s name ended up being ‘Hungry Jack Biscuit’.
A cat named Jack, or Biscuit doesn't seem so bad...
Yes but we had to call him Hungry Jack Biscuit everytime, they were very insistent we use the full name
Image credits: sarcasmgnome
#18 Feline DionNot a vet, but my roommate's cat is named Feline Dion. I wanted to call her Chairman Meow. I ended up calling a stray in the neighborhood Chairman Meow instead and the personality matches.
Image credits: twitchy_taco
#19 Lord Whimsalot IIIRunzwitskizzors added:
Not a vet but I took in a cat from a family named Lord Whimsalot III. Yes, there were previous Lord Whimsalots. We nicknamed him whimmy.
What a whimsical name.
Image credits: Runzwitskizzors
#20 John Hinckley, Jr.My cat's name in John Hinckley, Jr., because he was a stray that stalked me for a year and killed things to give me as offerings.
Image credits: hep632
#21 I-LeanMy Aunt has a 3 legged dog named I-Lean. I think its brilliant though.
Image credits: ShibbyShibby89
#22 RainbowMy grandmother's jet black and incredibly angry cat was called Rainbow.
Edit: I'm not a vet either.
Image credits: flingell
#23 ClockMy first pet that I can remember getting was a fish when I was about three or four years old.
I named him Clock because I happened to be looking at a clock when my mom asked what I wanted to name him
Image credits: FourRosesVII
#24 Puglas P. Arthur. Esq.rabidpiano86 wrote:
I'm not a vet but this is somewhat related. One of our dogs is a pug, we got him a long time ago from a bad home. My wife and I kind of waited around too long to give him a proper name, so now we still just call him Pug or "the pug".
I'm a little embarrassed when I take him to the vet and they ask his name and its just Pug. :/
You could always say his full name is Puglas (like Douglas), and Pug is just his nickname
Puglas P. Arthur. Esq.
Image credits: rabidpiano86
#25 DogNot a vet, but an owner. When my German shepherd goes in, I tell them he responds to Dog. His actual name is Dante, and he comes running when anyone even breathes it. But if I all I want to do is get him to look over to me or to stop whatever he’s doing, I just say Dog.
Also, he gets very very excited whenever anyone tells him he ‘has fat butt disease’ (The Office). He pushes you around with his big butt asking for scratches. Vets office staff seemed very pleased with this information. “We keep calling his name but he doesn’t get excited at all???” “Just tell him he has fat butt disease.”
Image credits: jellyresult
#26 EnvelopeMskorn85 wrote:
"Actually, Darren, it's pronounced En-vel-oh-pee"
Envelope is the name of the cat in the Sir Charlie Stinky Socks books. They are my son's favourite books at the moment!
Image credits: Mskorn85
Our daughter was three when she named the all black cat. I still have no idea why she named him that. He does appear a bit chunky like a well fed raccoon now.
Image credits: KamuiT
#28 NeedlesOk not a vet but my dogs name is needles.
Here’s the story:
I’m a body piercer it’s pretty common for people in my industry to name an animal needles. I never thought twice about the name.
Me and needles started cohabitation when I was living and working in small towns. The folks in small towns tend to treat folks that work in tattoo shops as local celebrities and everyone knows you and all your business. So no one questioned the name.
10 years later I’m in one of the 3 biggest cities in the US.
I never questioned the name of my dog until my partner, their kid, and I were in a store making plans and I, a bit louder than I anticipated said “ can we run home and grab needles b4 we go”
Everyone looked at us horrified. I did not understand why.
Now my partner makes fun of me for being the “homeless looking crack head screaming ‘come here needles’ when playing w my dog”
Also now when someone asks the name of my dog I tell them and follow with “I’m a piercer not a junky”
Image credits: Voldo_ate_my_sister
#29 Dachshund(Obligatory "not a vet", but...)
One time I was taking my dog to the vet for a check-up cause she had an ear infection. While waiting in the lobby, an older woman comes in with a dachshund in her arms and lets him sit on the counter. (This isn't a problem for the staff, as they love dogs, especially small dogs).
The receptionist asks for the woman's name, reason for visit, then finally asks what the dog's name was. "Dachshund". The receptionist says "Oh, I know his breed, but what is his name?".
Older woman looks her dead in the eye and in a slightly quieter voice she says "Dachshund" again. The receptionist looked confused for a second and the room was dead silent, so when the amount of laughter enraged it was hard not to as well.
Receptionist asks the woman why she named her Dachshund, "Dachshund", and the woman was quiet for a minute before replying: "...He likes it". His little tail was wagging the entire time.
Queue more laughter from all of us
#30 Tikka96276 wrote:
In the South, I was in a waiting room with someone who brought their chicken named Tikka. Like chicken tikka.
My husband named all of our chickens after food dishes: Kung Pao, Marsala, etc. These chickens were only for egg laying, not to be eaten.
Image credits: 96276
#31 TaquitoObligatory “not a vet” disclaimer, but story at a vet’s. My roommate had a dog called Taquito and we once had to go to the emergency vet at night because it was having trouble breathing.
The dog goes in with the vet and maybe half an hour later a vet’s assistant comes out, goes straight for the latino looking couple at the other end of the waiting room and just asks them “taquito?” They were looking sooo confused and slightly offended, especially since the assistant kept repeating it when they didn’t answer.
My roommate was slow on the uptake with it being the middle of the night and just being frozen on the spot by the awkwardness of the moment, but she finally spoke up and said “Taquito is my dog”. No one looked at each other for the remaining time we were there.
Edit: Thank you for the awards and for sharing your similar stories! It makes up a little for still cringing about that moment 10 years later.
Edit 2: A bit more info about Taquito. He was a rescue and my roommate just kept his name because I guess it just fit. He was fine on that night, just a case of kennel cough that went away on its own. He went on to live a full life of being the worst dog ever and passed away of old age.
Image credits: effingcharming
#32 Dump TruckMy old neighbors apparently thought it would be a good idea to let their 3 year old name their dog.
The dog was named dump truck.
Image credits: [deleted]
#33 ClitsyJeffersonSpicoli wrote:
The last name of one of my moms employees is klitsy :/ poor girl
Image credits: JeffersonSpicoli
#34 DaveIn the U.K. there is a programme called gogglebox- essentially people to reacting to the weeks TV. There is a family on it with about 5 huge Rottweilers. A fan favourite is “Dave”. Always front and centre and sitting on their couch. I always chuckle when they’re yelling “Dave! Dave! Get off the f**king couch Dave!”
#35 SeefaNot a vet, but I knew someone who had a cat named Seefa, which sounded fine to a child's ears. I later found out it was actually called C-for. C for cat. I eye-rolled so hard when I found out.
#36 Childish GambinoNot a vet, but my fish was named childfish gambino.
#37 Monster JohnsonA cat named "Monster" which wouldn't be that bad.. Except that the family's last name was Johnson.
Monster Johnson hahahaha.
#38 VodkaNexus_produces wrote:
My dog's name is vodka, is that bad?
Actually appropriate. Both make you feel better when times are tough.
#39 RadiatorI had a friend with a cat named Radiator because she named it when she was a toddler. Not sure why her parents went along with it.
Now you may be wondering why that's a bad name, Kitty, was an iguana.
Edit: Should add I met this iguana when I was taking my dog to the vet, I'm not a vet.
Image credits: Swimming-Sundae3432
#41 HelenMy ex and I found a blind kitten one time, we weren’t sure if she was going to live but when she and her mom went to the vet they told them it’s name was “Helen” as in Helen Keller. Coincidentally, my ex had a friend with another blind cat who was named “sockets”.
#42 Tuna Fish JonesNAV. Cat is named Tuna Fish Jones. Sometimes called Toonces, or Fatness (short for Fatness Neverclean)
Image credits: catsasss
#43 Baby KittyMy bro’s cat’s name is “baby kitty”... it is like eight years old now. Always fun for them calling into the vet.
#44 Joy Of The Lord"Joy of the Lord". There's also a Sphynx out there named Scrotum, which makes me laugh because that's exactly what a scrotum feels like.
#45 Ben StillerNot a vet, but I once picked up a loose Great Dane named Ben Stiller. Should've kept him
#46 Booty Ham SandwichBooty Ham Sandwich! The parents called him Boo though.
#47 FluffybuttObligatory Not A Vet, but my history teacher told us that he let his daughter name the cat when she was very young, and she called him "Fluffybutt". Years later she decided to rename him Milo.
History teacher lived in a fairly rough area of the city and didn't exactly enjoy yelling "Fluffybutt" into the night to get the cat home.
#48 Sala And MiI used to volunteer (not as a vet!) at an animal shelter. We had to give all the stray cats/dogs that came in names, for in the database. They had to be "unique" because sometimes you had to do a search and you can't have the name "Simba" popping up 1000 times (it happened). So one time we had 2 dogs that came in together and they named them: Sala and Mi (Salami). It was just for during their stay, the owner was free to change the names. So not that bad and my coworker was very creative.
Image credits: Flower_82
#49 ShoeMy cat's name is shoe
Image credits: LeifErikson10
#50 Little S**tNot a vet. (I know, sorry.)
My dad adopted a stray cat who wandered into his yard once. The first time he saw the cat (not much past kitten stage), his response was, "What a little s**t."
"Little S**t" became the cat's name on the vet paperwork. The sad part was that she got her leg caught in a door once, and ended up having it amputated. Which led to a really awkward conversation in grade school, before I was old enough to know better, when I told my teacher that "My dad has a cat with three legs, and her name is Little S**t!"
Image credits: Hysterical_Realist
#51 PorkbuttMy spouse used to have a huge Maine Coon officially named Princess. That was her name at the vet and on her collar. But he only ever called her PorkButt.
ETA: it’s adorable how many chonky names are given to Maine Coons! PorkButt would have sniffed disdainfully at you all.
#52 Horatio Bradshaw Roadworkbutihavemyownmoney wrote:
Ex gf was a vet nurse. She came across a cat in the system called Horatio Bradshaw Roadwork.
They asked for the worst name, not the best
Image credits: butihavemyownmoney