Elite University’s Musical Theater Goes Fully Nude — Yet Modestly Masked – Opinion


Regarding garments, it’s traditionally a priority to cover one’s privates.


The priorities are changing.


Here’s an example: A recent performance of theatre at Stanford University.


Every year, the school stages a musical to celebrate its annual The Big Game Gaities celebration.


A week before Cal Berkeley’s game, the student-penned extravaganza is played.


The Stanford Review has a description:



It’s a…tradition, every autumn quarter: inside jokes, original musical numbers, caricatures of campus groups, a drunken Friday-night audience screaming at the cast to make out with one another (and the cast obliging), the awkward but usually hilarious cameo appearance of Stanford President Marc Tessier-Lavigne, and above all, the denigration of all things Berkeley.‌



There is nothing more beautiful than that. Let’s not forget the non-mentionables!





Don’t forget the “naked run.” It could happen at any moment — suddenly the lights dim, the cast freezes in place, the music comes on, and a flashing of strobe lights illuminate the stage as a crowd of student streakers run out in their birthday suits for a few chaotic, glorious moments. Then they dip back behind the curtains, and the show goes on — it must go on.‌



Though last year’s show didn’t go on, the pandemic couldn’t keep it tucked away for good.


Safety first! The Review apparently obtained an administrative email allowing performers to showcase their shut-ups.


One thing is certain:



You’re required to wear a face mask that covers both your nose and your mouth. The mask can have additional aesthetics. Make it creative and have fun!



So orifices below the neck were fine to flaunt, but don’t expose the secret shame of your incisors.


Review writer Maxwell Meyer confirmed the crew wasn’t too crotchety over the requirement.


At least not in a persnickety manner.



It was a shocker to read this. [about the rule] but really didn’t think that anyone would…be masked while otherwise totally nude… To my distress, I learned this morning from a source who stripped for opening night that nearly all those in the buff were also masked up.



Stanford isn’t the first place to mull over a mask mandate and decide ’tain’t no big deal.


Philadelphia’s Naked Bike Ride attracted hundreds of pedalers in June.


This year’s (12th) jaunt was christened “The Mask Edition.”


As I noted, that wasn’t solely without sense: Perhaps some people baring their bodies preferred to hide their faces.


In anticipation of this event, here are some more:



Everyone will feel pumped and hopefully no one gets blown out.


Particularly due to the pent-up frustration of last year’s lockdown, I bet a bevy of in-the-buff bikers will be giving it a go for the first time.


And of course, it isn’t for everyone.


Although not all bikers will win, it is certain that many will.



Where protocol’s concerned, COVID’s definitely drummed up some oddities.


Ohio high school wrestling teams were informed last December it was OK to make spit of each other, with sweat and spit bound to fly.


But they were warned: Due to germs, don’t shake hands.


And last June, New York City issued its “safer” sex guide in light of the virus.


Although the handbook encourages intimacy, it also contains some cautionary words:



COVID-19 patients have been confirmed to be infected with the virus through their urine and semen.



#PartyPoopers


And:



Use your imagination when creating sexual positions.



And that’s the recipe for making love.


To Stanford’s credit, the Review gave advice to strict-masked streakers.



[I]f you’ve already dropped your undies in front of a thousand hollering classmates, you can drop the mask, too — I promise you won’t feel much more naked than you already are.



That may be true, but in our new era of enlightenment, evidently, we’ve flip-flopped on which cheeks should be shown.


Hence, Stanford’s students a-floppin’.


They would be sprayed if they didn’t cough and turn their heads.


Our new outlook is the same. And — strangely if not sadly — our new normal.


-ALEX

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