Halsey is reflecting on life ahead of their 28th birthday.
The musician shared a candid post on Instagram, questioning whether they’ve made the correct decisions over the past decade.
Halsey wrote on their Instagram Story, “I find that often there is a deep sadness inside me that no amount of worldly pleasure can touch, a loneliness, an emptiness.
“I wonder often if I chose the wrong life for myself. And the weight of it is suffocating. I’m sorry that melancholy has penetrated my art in a way that hasn’t served a greater purpose other than my own self loathing,” they added, according to E! News.
They said ahead of their birthday on September 29 that they are “just now exhaling and gasping for air for the first time since I took a single breath in this new life at 18.”
Halsey continued, “I am wandering lawlessly and I hope to find my way somewhere meaningful soon so that I can give you the guts I’ve always known to scoop heapings of into your ears.
“They are shriveling lately. If you cannot be kind, at least be gentle. With love.”
Halsey has been battling multiple health issues over the years, including bipolar disorder, which they’ve been open about.
The hitmaker, who shares 14-month-old son Ender with their boyfriend Alev Aydin, regularly fills fans in on what what they’ve been going through.
They shared in May, “Obviously my health has changed a lot since I got pregnant and gave birth. I started getting really, really, really, sick… I was hospitalized for anaphylaxis a few times and I had some other stuff going on.”
The singer said at the time, “Basically, after seeing a 100,000 doctors, I got diagnosed with Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, Sjogren’s syndrome, Mast-cell activation syndrome, POTS (postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome) and I’m still looking for answers to the root cause of some of these things.”