“Highly Sensitive” SIL Balks After Her High Demands Get Shut Down


People with strict dietary requirements live a complicated life. Their enjoyment of food comes with limitations, and as someone from the outside looking in, it’s only proper to empathize with them. 


However, they’re never entitled to make things difficult for the people around them. It’s a problem this woman had to deal with when her peanut-allergic and vegan sister-in-law began making unreasonable demands for staying over. 


She refuses to accommodate the unrealistic requests, but wonders if she was too harsh to treat a family member this way. 


A woman has been having trouble dealing with her sister-in-law, who is vegan and allergic to peanuts


Highly sensitive sister-in-law hesitates at the door as her high demands cause tension during a family gathering.


Image credits: pexels (not the actual photo)


Her SIL is planning to stay over and made unrealistic demands to accommodate her dietary restrictions


Text post discussing a highly sensitive sister-in-law's high demands causing conflict over vegan and peanut allergy concerns.


Text excerpt discussing limits on hosting friends and family due to preferences of a highly sensitive person in a family setting.


Highly sensitive sister-in-law making high demands that get shut down, showing tension in family dynamics.


Text excerpt describing the highly sensitive SIL with high demands for separate pans and plates due to severe peanut allergy.


Young woman showing dissatisfaction while holding a sandwich outdoors, depicting a highly sensitive reaction to high demands.


Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)


But given her busy schedule, she refuses to accommodate them


Text excerpt showing a highly sensitive SIL demanding peanut-free and vegan-friendly apartment conditions.


Text excerpt showing a person explaining their hectic schedule and asking someone to stay in a nearby Airbnb or hotel.



Text excerpt discussing challenges with a highly sensitive sister-in-law’s high demands and dietary restrictions.


Text message expressing frustration about high demands from a highly sensitive sister-in-law and refusal to let her stay.


Image credits:


People with food allergies carry mental burdens


People who are forced to follow a restricted diet also carry the mental burdens brought on by their situation. According to the Food Allergy Research & Education (FARE) Patient Registry, 62% of people experience anxiety about living with food allergies and food avoidance. 


At the same time, 54% of people who experienced an allergic reaction reported going through a period of anxiety, while 32% were in panic mode. 


But it’s not only those suffering who go through these mental struggles. According to FARE, their caregivers also fear for their safety, and many have sought professional help to cope with the worry. 


Given these burdens, living with dietary restrictions affects relationships. As Medical News notes, families with allergic children end up limiting their social interactions, which can cause a strain within their dynamic. 


In the story’s case, the sister-in-law’s food allergies began to cause resentment in the author, which can worsen if they don’t deal with their situation properly. 


It all comes down to compromise. If she intends to cook, the author must understand food safety preparation. As the University of Michigan community educator Nancy Swenderis, MS, RN, emphasizes, trace amounts of an allergen are enough to trigger a reaction for many people. 


She must clean surfaces and kitchen utensils thoroughly to ensure contamination-free conditions. If necessary, she may need to use separate tools for every meal. While it is a bit of a hassle, it is part of her obligations as a host. 


However, the sister-in-law could also make things easier by purchasing her premade dishes. The people around her may be too busy to accommodate her requests, and she can do her part to avoid causing tension. No one wants family drama, let alone a rift caused by food preparation methods. 


Most commenters sided with the author, with some blaming her husband for not taking the initiative to accommodate his sister


Comment discussing a highly sensitive sister-in-law balking after her high demands are shut down in a family conflict.


Comment discussing a highly sensitive sister-in-law’s high demands and family dynamics about cooking and cleaning.


Comment on a forum, discussing a highly sensitive sister-in-law's high demands being rejected.


Comment discussing a highly sensitive SIL who creates conflicts by making high demands and inconveniencing others.


Comment thread discussing a highly sensitive sister-in-law balking after her high demands get shut down.


Comment explaining why a highly sensitive sister-in-law's high demands were firmly rejected by family members.


Comment discussing a highly sensitive sister-in-law who sets high demands that get shut down by family members.


Reddit comment discussing a highly sensitive sister-in-law’s high demands being shut down in a family dispute.


Screenshot of an online comment discussing high demands and conflict involving a highly sensitive sister-in-law situation.


Comment on a forum discussing a highly sensitive sister-in-law balking after her high demands are refused.


Screenshot of a social media comment showing a user expressing frustration with a highly sensitive SIL's high demands being shut down.


Comment discussing highly sensitive SIL’s demands and family tensions over allergy and veganism concerns.


Reddit comment reading definitely NTA with a user calling someone entitled in a discussion about a highly sensitive SIL's reaction.


Reddit comment discussing boundaries with a highly sensitive sister-in-law after her high demands are declined.


Highly sensitive SIL refuses unreasonable high demands, highlighting conflict and boundaries during family visit discussions.


Comment on a social media post about a sensitive sister-in-law reacting negatively after her high demands were denied.


Screenshot of an online comment discussing a highly sensitive SIL's high demands and boundaries on food and cooking expectations.


Screenshot of a Reddit comment criticizing a highly sensitive sister-in-law for making unreasonable demands in a home.


But there were a few who called her out


Comment from user Jacintaleishman advising that the brother should host his highly sensitive sister to avoid conflict.


Comment discussing a highly sensitive sister-in-law balking after her high demands for accommodations get shut down.