The wedding ceremony is a momentous occasion for the bride and groom. It’s a day they should be cherishing forever as they celebrate a milestone moment in their lives.
Ideally, the focus should be solely on the couple, not on anyone else. But as you will read in the two stories below, the groom’s mom can sometimes steal the spotlight and ruin what could’ve been a memorable day.
In both instances, the entitled mothers showed up at the ceremony looking like they were about to walk down the aisle. Read through and see whether you feel disappointment or secondhand embarrassment first.
The last thing anyone wants during their wedding is for someone to cause a scene
Image credits: Pressmaster / Envato (not the actual photo)
In this first story, a mom proudly attended her son’s wedding wearing a white, floor-length gown with a veil
Image credits: Wavebreakmedia / Envato (not the actual photo)
The entitled mom continued her antics during the reception
Image credits: CodPhysical6308
Conflict between the parents and the couple is usually rooted in “unspoken assumptions”
In that first story, the mom felt it would be completely fine to wear what could easily be mistaken as a wedding dress. She believed she wasn’t doing anything wrong because her dress had “more sleeves” on it. She also thought it was acceptable to act as if it were her big day.
These “unspoken assumptions” are a leading cause of conflict between parents and the soon-to-be newlyweds, according to professional bridal coach Kara Ghassabeh.
“To each person, ‘the right thing’ seems so obvious, they don’t realize it needs a conversation until after feelings are hurt. It’s the unexpected emotions that underpin these choices and fuel conflict,” Ghassabeh told Brides, adding that parents often underestimate how much their presence and identity are tied to the ceremony.
It wasn’t clear in either story whether the mothers of the groom provided any form of financial support. But if it were the case, whoever paid for the wedding may feel a sense of entitlement, like they have the upper hand.
“When parents are paying, they often feel like parents, wanting to give advice and make decisions like they have throughout their kids’ childhood,” etiquette expert Diane Gottsman said in the same Brides interview.
People in the comments didn’t hold back with their reactions, some pointing to a possible mental illness
Image credits: Tom Pumford / Unsplash / (not the actual photo)
The same thing happened in story number two, but here, the mom insisted it was their family “tradition”
Image credits: Alexander Mass / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Seemingly not content with her actions at the ceremony, she went on to impose her presence at the reception
Image credits: CompanyMediocre2436
Approaching the situation with empathy and calmness ensures the day isn’t ruined
If you’re in the same tough spot as the couples in both stories, flipping out may be an instinctive response. However, such a reaction could ruin a day you’ve both been looking forward to.
This is why responding calmly with empathy would be the best way to go, according to psychologist and marriage specialist Bonnie Maslin, Ph.D.
“Don’t act in kind but in kindness. You can’t go wrong with empathy,” Maslin said in an interview with Glamour.
Some people may also avoid confronting the erring person out of fear of escalating the situation. However, Maslin says the opposite is true. According to her, allowing the individual to say their piece on why they were acting the way they were may help avoid a worse episode fueled by alcohol later in the night.
Neither story indicated how the couples reacted, but hopefully, they were able to take things in stride without allowing the moment to ruin their day.
As expected, commenters weren’t pleased, as some shared similar experiences
