Mom Cancels Daughter’s Vacation After She Bullied Her Overweight Friend

There is no excuse for bullying others. No matter if they’re a complete stranger or one of your closest friends, bullying is downright wrong. An important part of being a good parent is setting boundaries for how your children treat other people: encouraging empathy, kindness, politeness, and all that jazz. If they step over the line, they need to make amends. And if they don’t, well, rules are useless if you don’t enforce them.

Redditor u/Winloserepeat-908 turned to the AITA online community for advice after dealing with a very sensitive situation at home. The mom asked the internet if she was wrong to cancel her daughter’s vacation after how she treated a ‘chubby’ friend. You’ll find the full story below. Redditor u/Winloserepeat-908 was kind enough to answer some of Bored Panda’s questions about what happened. She stressed the fact that her daughter had never been a bully before this incident. Read on for our interview with her.

Sometimes, parents need to step in and help set some boundaries for how their children behave

Image credits: 13people (not the actual photo)

A mom turned to the internet for advice after sharing how her daughter body-shamed her close friend and what this led to

Image credits: Roberto Nickson (not the actual photo)

Image credits: Andres Ayrton (not the actual photo)

Credits: Winloserepeat-908

The mom clearly showed that bullying has very direct consequences

Bored Panda was curious whether posting on the AITA subreddit helped the mom in any way. “There are answers I found helpful, particularly those that included books my daughter and I can read that will explain why she may act like she did and what to do,” she said that some redditors were extremely insightful and genuinely wanted to help the family.

“Some also shared their personal experiences that gave more insight,” u/Winloserepeat-908 told us. However, some internet users were more intent on riling everyone up than sharing sage advice.

“Of course, this is the internet and there are answers that were unnecessarily hateful. I understand those are trolls and they did not take away what I learned from the helpful redditors, regardless of what their judgment was.”

The topic is a sensitive one, and we wanted to know how the mom reacted when she learned that her daughter had bullied her friend. “My first reaction was denial. It’s not like my daughter to be so hateful and mean. She has never been a bully,” she said.

“I was also conflicted that I may have thought the best of my child like every parent does and overlooked such behavior.”

Meanwhile, redditor u/Winloserepeat-908 shared her thoughts on what can help people to be more tolerant and respectful of others’ bodies. According to her, good education is essential.

“I think everyone should learn (or be taught) to love their bodies first before they start their weight loss journey,” she said.

“This way, they don’t lose weight because they hate the way they look, but because they want to be healthier. If they do lose weight, they will not become fatphobic.”

The mom added: “Just to be clear, I learned after some talks with my daughter that this was not the case for her. The fatphobic comments were just her way of hurting her friend’s feelings over a completely unrelated conflict. Taking a low blow, if you will.”

It’s vital to treat others with dignity and respect

Usually, experience teaches us empathy. Say, if we were constantly bullied and body-shamed in the past, we’re far more likely to be empathetic toward someone else who had to suffer just like we did. Unfortunately, that’s not always the case. The OP’s daughter, who went through a long and challenging weight-loss journey, wasn’t more tolerant of her friend, who she said was “too chubby to look good in pictures” during the planned vacation.

Upon learning about how her daughter had uninvited her friend after body-shaming her, redditor u/Winloserepeat-908 wanted her to apologize. When that didn’t happen and the situation escalated, she decided to teach her kid a lesson about manners. She canceled the vacation her daughter had worked so long to earn. There. Is. No. Excuse. For. Bullying. And actions have consequences.

However, the OP still felt that she might have been in the wrong which is why she asked the AITA community for its verdict. The vast majority of people thought that the mom did what she had to do: this was a lesson that her daughter needed to learn in order to grow as a person. They agreed that parents need to help set boundaries for how their children need to behave. Love and support don’t mean blindly giving into your kid’s every whim and bending to every tantrum.

Body positivity is a nuanced and ongoing battle. It starts with educating people to be more tolerant and respectful of others, no matter how they look—everyone is worthy of being treated with dignity. Social media is a double-edged sword in this regard. On the one hand, you see photo after photo showing ‘perfect’ models who embody conventional body standards in your feed. On the other hand, everyone has a voice and it’s easier now more than ever to see just how different people really can be. Celebrities who show candid, unfiltered, and ‘imperfect’ photos of themselves can really help shape how the younger generations think.

However, it’s essential to balance tolerance and respect with healthy life choices. Shaming someone for their weight won’t help them on their journey, but support and encouragement can help them make smart decisions that will help improve their quality of life. Weight isn’t the only measure of health, however, it is still an important factor.

There’s nothing wrong with being ‘chubby,’ but being seriously overweight or obese is incredibly dangerous. You are far more at risk for many serious diseases and health conditions. Everyone needs to be honest with themselves about what their level of fitness is like and whether it’s improving their lives or making them more difficult.

Living a high-quality, healthy life goes beyond just exercise

According to the CDC, being overweight increases the chances of high blood pressure, diabetes, coronary heart disease, stroke, many types of cancer, clinical depression, and other very serious issues. Someone who is overweight has a body mass index of 25 or more. Meanwhile, someone who is obese has a BMI of 30 or more. However, health and fitness aren’t a one-size-fits-all kind of deal. It’s essential for everyone to figure out what kind of lifestyle, diet, and exercise best suits their needs.

One of the best ways to get fit is to focus on the physical activities that you genuinely love to do. For instance, you might loathe jogging but enjoy hiking (hi!). Or you might find that swimming, dancing, playing tennis, or doing tai-chi with a dozen other people in the park suits you far more.

If you’re happy moving your body this way, odds are that you’ll continue exercising and it’ll turn into a long-term habit. Meanwhile, if you’re constantly doing the things that you deeply hate, you might drop the activity and bounce back to a more sedentary lifestyle. It also helps that you set small goals for yourself instead of shooting for a peak athletic body in a week. Even a brisk walk around the block or a five-minute workout from the internet is better than doing nothing.

However, exercise isn’t everything. You also need to have a clean(er) diet: avoid processed foods, refined sugars, and saturated fats. Cook at home instead of eating fast food. See that you don’t keep snacking all the time if you’re feeling bored. Be sure to stay hydrated and drink plenty of water.

Meanwhile, a healthy social life will help you stay motivated and will likely even prolong your life in the long run. Social isolation significantly increases a person’s risk of premature death from all causes, according to the CDC. The risk of dementia increases by 50%, heart disease by 29%, and stroke by 32%. Meanwhile, loneliness also leads to higher rates of anxiety and depression. Aside from the pleasure of having a lot of people you genuinely care about in your life, these are very practical reasons to maintain close ties with others. We’re social animals, after all.