Søren Kierkegaard said, "Marry, and you will regret it; don't marry, you will also regret it; marry or don't marry, you will regret it either way."

Although it can be difficult to get over, regret is a fundamental part of the human experience. So, interested in people's past choices that continue to linger in their minds, Reddit user ThickEmployee8948 asked everyone on the platform who's 30 and older to share the (in)actions they cannot forget.

The discussion that followed serves as a reminder that we cannot change the past — only learn from it.

#1

Standing up for myself.

I lived way too long trying to make others happy and letting them manipulate me

My family used this to their fullest advantage

I stopped it now but wish I had the backbone 20 years ago.

Image credits: BreezinOnBy

#2

TEETH

Wish I’d Brushed and flossed more regularly, gone to the dentist every six months; etc.

Image credits: anthonystank

#3

Staying in shape. It is so much harder later in life to keep up. lose weight and all the rest.

Image credits: teaisjustsadwater

#4

Worked an awful, dead end job for way too long.

Image credits: celiacsunshine

#5

My friends and I talked about doing a 2-3 week Europe trip back in our 20s. “Oh maybe next year”. Eventually jobs, bills and families put all that to rest.

Image credits: TraditionPast4295

#6

Not keeping in touch with old friends. Thought we’d reconnect easily, but everyone drifted apart and got busy with their own lives.

Image credits: shinyowll

#7

Quit drinking. Alcohol sucks and it’s really bad for you. Wasn’t an alcoholic, just got really bad hangovers and anxiety after drinking. Haven’t had a sip in 51 weeks.

Image credits: fin425

#8

Started smoking cigarettes. Did it for about 30 years although I've quit now. Don't do it kids !

Image credits: sneakysmokey56

#9

Dealing with my trauma instead of running from it.

Image credits: DorkTownPopulationMe

#10

I regret thinking that nice things were not for people like me. The number of experiences, travel, career opportunities I turned down is crazy. All because I didn't think I was good enough to deserve them.

Image credits: tea_ninja

#11

Not realizing how quickly needing to be an adult creeps up on you. I remember being 17 and thinking 30 was so far away. Now I’m closing in on 40 and wishing I had done more to prep for being an adult.

Image credits: Dwyde_Schrude

#12

Not being unapologetically myself.

Image credits: ooruin

#13

Getting married so young. I’m getting divorced now, but I wish I had more single time in my twenties.

Image credits: Corn619

#14

Not taking school seriously, not learning to play an instrument, not chosing a sport and sticking to it.

Image credits: chinchenping

#15

Not taking my education seriously.

Image credits: Scarlett-Spider

#16

I regret doing what my parents expected of me instead of what I wanted to do.

Image credits: Fine_Singer_7603

#17

TAKE CARE OF YOUR HEALTH BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE.

If you are young and having back issues or any other chronic or not problem you HAVE to take care of this before it spirals out of control. you may think you're tough and push through it now or that they will go away but these types of problems can slowly get worse and worse and creep up on you.

I am currently living with the consequences of this. I feel like I am 90 and I have at least 4 major health issues at the moment and I don't even know where to start. if I had tackled my neck issues when I was younger my life would be a lot better right now.

EDIT - all these stories I feel them. I remember coming to the realization that no it is not in fact normal to have back pain when you're young. I remember having to stop and sit down when I was like 14 whenever I walked any distances. it was like having someone stick a broomstick in your back super hard. I just lived through the pain thinking that it would eventually go away like a moron. I am 30 now and doing the dishes aggravates my neck so badly that I nearly have to lay down after doing them. I am lucky that my situation allows me to be flexible and lay down when I need to.

EDIT - a youngun might see this but ladies out there! I had this friend in high school that had some pain in her uterus and it turned into a living nightmare of pain. if you young ladies reading this have pain in your uterus, ovaries etc or really strange crazy periods you NEED to see a doctor. these things can turn life threatening.

Image credits: Jashuawashua

#18

I wish I had treated myself with respect, and taken my mental health seriously. I'm doing that now and it's making a big difference. .

#19

Travel. One you have a family, career, mortgage payments, etc, the time, resources and energy for travel just seemed to disappear.

#20

Not learning to manage stress and anxiety—I wish I had developed healthy coping mechanisms earlier in life.

#21

Not taking breaks to recharge—I wish I had recognized the importance of rest and relaxation for overall well-being.

#22

Letting fear hold me back from trying new things or taking on challenges—I wish I had embraced uncertainty and failure as opportunities for growth.

#23

Excuse me 30 is still young

But mine would be acting like I'm 30 and not enjoying my teens and twenties like I should.

Image credits: goblinkate

#24

This is a little complicated, but I wish I had been able to come to terms with not caring what people think of me when I was younger. It did wonders for my confidence.

Image credits: DeepDown2332

#25

Education seriously, travelled more, cut off toxic people sooner, invested in my future and didn't blow money on dumb s**t.

Image credits: 2FeetandaBeat

#26

Not traveling solo—I wish I had taken the opportunity to explore the world on my own terms.

#27

Kinda the opposite of most people, but I wish I partied more, heh. I worked all throughout college and didn't have that "typical" college experience of going to parties, drinking, whatever.

I kinda did that when I was like 27-29 but that's all I got. By the time I was 30 I wanted to get it together, which I did.

You should never compare yourself/your life to other people, but looking back, my 20s were generally pretty boring when you look at what most other people were doing at that time in their lives.

#28

Not standing up for causes I believe in—I wish I had been more vocal and active in advocating for social justice and equality.

#29

Nothing. The person you were back then would always make the same exact decisions given the information you were aware of at the time. I don’t have regrets in life. I can only change now.

#30

Not learning a second language—I regret not taking the time to become bilingual when it would have been easier.

#31

My grandmother died and left me - and only me - a sizeable inheritance. The same year I had just finished chemo and thought perhaps a windfall was an upswing. I knew my grandmother a little, but I left home pretty early and enlisted after that, so we never had a relationship really - but I got out and away, and the rest of our family were vipers, which was enough to put me at the top.

My brother, feeling left out, challenged the will, and emptied his savings doing so. I offered him half, but he felt entitled to all of it. At the end of it, penniless and desperate, my brother ended his own life. Most of the money was eaten up in court, and what was left wasn't much.

If you ever receive news of an inheritance or windfall, please consider that your family may destroy itself in pursuit of the money. Even if they're going to act that way anyway, you will at least be able to sleep at night.

#32

Quitting my career to be a SAHM. It had to happen, it was a necessity and thoroughly talked and agreed upon. It just kills me daily knowing I could have been really great. .

#33

Wish I hadn't worried so much about not being in a relationship.

I wish I'd slept around a little more before getting married and having kids.

I regret not doing work on my mental health sooner.

#34

Starting my youtube channel...I was too scared...Now I'm at 67,000 subscribers after a year and 3ish months...

#35

I regret buying into the workplace b******t when I was younger.

Being the 'goto' guy isn't going to put food on the table.

It's not going to pay your medical bills.

It's not gonna get you that promotion.

Unless you have a contract stating *x* will get you *y* do NOT go out of your way to 'help' businesses.

Don't be lazy, but don't be consistently picking up other peoples slack or rushing to put out 'fires'.

#36

Start an investment portfolio or like a Roth/IRA

Even if you only dump $10/mo in it.

Even if your job does one. Start building long term wealth for the cost of a burger.

I was able to pay the down payment on my first house by draining my Roth that I started at 18.

#37

I'm currently estranged from my parents. They have the ability to end this at any time, they just won't.

They controlled me all through my childhood and I kept chasing approval from them. I missed out on so many experiences because I wanted to be an obedient good kid.

I wish I had done more stupid s**t when I was younger. D***s, sex, rock and roll. Instead, I was consumed with panic attacks over losing my 4.0 and now that I'm a burnt out gifted kid in my thirties, I really struggle to relate to people my own age.

#38

Not taking advantage of networking opportunities—I wish I had built a stronger professional network and sought mentorship earlier in my career.

#39

Wear Sunscreen.

#40

Regret spending my twenties playing video games. I did go to uni and got a degree as well, but there's so much I never experienced because I just sat in my room on my computer all the time.

#41

Prioritize making new friends when you graduate from college.

#42

Asking more girls out, being more fearless and taking more chances.

#43

I regret changing degrees in pursue of my idiotic dreams.

#44

Psychedelics, regret not doing.

#45

100 sit ups every day.

#46

All the drinking in my late teens into my mid twenties. Who knows where I’d be now if I hadn’t wasted so much time and money getting drunk with a bunch of losers back then.

#47

When I was 30 I was married. We were in the process of moving. The wife had gone on ahead and I would be following in a month after finishing up my job.

Everything was packed up and sent ahead. I was sleeping on an air mattress and had a lawn chair in the living room. No TV. no computer. My only entertainment was library books.

So a few days before I was scheduled to leave I just got so bored of reading library books that I decided to go out. I hit up a local bar, had a good time.

I'd been talking to a couple of college girls and one thing lead to another and they invited me back to their place for a threesome.

And I thought to myself, there's no way the wife could ever find out. I'll be gone in 2 day so there's no way that these girls would ever be able to track me down again. It's perfect.

And then I turned them down, because I'm married and that means something to me. My marriage was worth more than a one time fling.

Anyway, long story short, 3 years later I was divorced after finding out that my wife slept with 5 other men. I kind of regret my choice now.

#48

Investing.

#49

I did my thesis on regret as a function of age (using a survey with 1400 participants). The overwhelming finding was that regret for things that you fail to do (omission regrets) stick with you much more than regrets for things you did (commission regrets). Furthermore, when we are young, omission regrets are less salient and meaningful. As we age, regret for things we fail to do bother us more while we tend to get over our commission regrets. This is not surprising.

What was surprising was that people with a sense of spirituality find that having regret (regardless of the type) is a useful experience, and they benefit from revisiting or thinking about these things in several domains: making sense of life, fostering social connections, and guiding future decisions.

#50

Not taking more risks in my career—I regret not seizing opportunities or pursuing my dreams more boldly.

#51

I wish I hadn’t treated life like it was a rehearsal. I didn’t do d***s or drink dangerously or do anything exciting enough to be worth the risk, but I lost friends and family by just being selfish. I shouldn’t have been so impulsive or assumed there would always be “second chances”.

#52

I had as much fun as I could when I was in my teens and twenties.

Do I regret spending money I didn't have doing things I shouldn't have because it set me back financially 10 years? no, yes, not really. Would I rather do those things in my 60s-70s when I could afford it? No.

So no, I don't regret it. Do the things if you can while you can because tomorrow may not come for you. That's doesn't mean break the law. It means if you want to take a trip to see what the hell ever, just do. Because once you start adulting you may have the money to do but you sure as s**t won't have the time.

Do I regret breaking my body playing sports and other activities that I am now sufferings through because I pushed my body to an extreme level?

When I am hurting a lot? yeah.

When I am reminiscing about it? No. It was fun as hell.

So while you are young, you do you. Go have fun. As long as the only person you are hurting is you.

Now when you get older and look back and think. "maybe I shouldn't have done that or said that" All that means you are growing as a person. I hope you have those moments before you are 30 but it's never to late to stop being a d**k.