I think there are many people who like kids just as long as they don’t scream, don’t throw tantrums and don’t ruin the time that you planned to spend calmly. Probably most of us know how it feels to share a plane with a screaming kid or have somebody running around and screaming when you are trying to have lunch.
Or when you are having a birthday party – one Reddit user asked his parents not to invite his 5-year-old nephew to his birthday due to knowing it was going to bring trouble. Well, spoiler alert – they insisted that everybody participate, which caused quite a bit of chaos, to say the least.
More info: Reddit
At birthday parties, you would think that people come to meet the celebrant, but, well, not always
Image credits: Eduardo Barrientos (not the actual photo)
Teen shares that he had his birthday party where everything was going great until the arrival of his 5 Y.O. nephew, whom he didn’t want there in the first place
Image credits: Thanh Tran (not the actual photo)
He added that his nephew is not well behaved, but his parents insisted that their grandkid be there and if something went wrong, they would take responsibility for it
Image credits: Pixabay (not the actual photo)
Well, his nephew threw the birthday cake on the floor because he didn’t get to blow out the candles and the teen’s brother compensated his parents for it
Image credits: u/Awkward_Bag_1250
A few days later, after his parents scolded him for turning down dinner with his brother, he flatly told them that they are responsible for ruining his birthday and not his brother
A couple of days ago, one Reddit user shared his story online asking community members if he was being a jerk for telling his parents that it’s their fault his nephew came to his birthday party against his wishes, threw a tantrum and ruined his party. The post received a lot of netizens’ attention and collected almost 10K upvotes and 700 comments.
The original poster (OP) starts his story by sharing that he had his birthday party recently, where everything was going well until his 5-year-old nephew came, who, as the teen pointed out, is spoiled and not well behaved. However, despite the teen’s protests that his nephew shouldn’t be at his party, his parents insisted that he shouldn’t feel excluded and if something did happen, they would take responsibility for it.
Well, the nephew got upset that he didn’t get to blow out the candles and threw the birthday cake on the floor. OP shared that he was disappointed, but not surprised, and his brother compensated his parents for the birthday cake. Now, a few days later, the teen’s brother gave him a call inviting him for an apology birthday dinner, but OP assured him that it was no big deal and he had plans anyway, so he couldn’t attend.
However, when his parents found out that he declined the invitation and scolded the teen for making his brother feel even worse, he bluntly told them that it was their fault and he doesn’t blame his brother for the ruined birthday party.
Community members backed up the teen and gave him the ‘Not the A-hole’ badge. “NTA. Your parents clearly knew what they were doing and invited your nephew despite your warnings to not do so,” one user wrote. “They care more about seeing their grandchild than about you, your happiness and comfort. NTA,” another added.
Image credits: Migs Reyes (not the actual photo)
“I think the parent/carer knows their child best and should assess each invite to determine whether it might be suitable or not or to act accordingly,” shared Vicki Broadbent, Bored Panda’s parenting expert. “For example, if your toddler is shouting through a wedding ceremony, do move out of that space somewhere your child can calm down so you’re not ruining the day for others.”
Vicki added that often it takes a change of scenery or a distraction to help a young child calm down. “There will be invites that you deem inappropriate for your child, perhaps an evening gathering or an event which might disrupt their routine so you should use your judgement on whether attending makes sense for your child or not. And if not, make arrangements for babysitters or family to care so you can still attend if you so wish.”
Now, speaking about how parents can balance the desire to include all family members in social gatherings while also ensuring the event remains enjoyable for everyone involved, Vicki emphasized that if those hosting the party inform everyone invited that their policy is no young children, for example, that is fair. “As long as they stick to that, no one should feel offended.”
She pointed out that notifying others in advance is fair and polite and then it’s up to those invitees whether they want to accept or not. “Also, arranging an alternative gathering that is suitable for all family members and friends might prove a useful compromise – such as meeting in an outside space such as a park for a picnic or in a safe space for children who might feel frustrated by loud noises and large gatherings.”
Finally, it’s quite common that a toddler’s behavior becomes challenging during a party, thus Vicki shared that parents have a duty of care towards their child, to keep them safe. “Taking them out of the room and helping them calm down is the best start,” she emphasized. “If they are overstimulated, consider taking them home. Our children, their needs and their behavior constantly evolve, so we must be responsive to that and make sound judgments when it comes to accepting invites.”
The parenting expert added that parents should always be prepared with snacks, toys, books and games too. “Society as a whole should be more accepting and understanding of children.”
“Tantrums are a completely normal part of young children’s development,” Vicki noted. “I often feel like saying to those clearly judging parents with crying babies and toddlers to try and remember that they too were young once.” But what do you guys think about this story? Share your thoughts below!
Redditors shamed the parents for making a promise and not keeping it
