Romantic relationships can be incredibly rewarding but they can also be difficult and exhausting. Why? Because after the initial butterflies settle, you and your partner both have to work to remain together. And not everyone is willing or capable to do so.

So when Reddit user Dazzling_Leopard4627 made a post on the platform, asking folks to share the red flags that scream "this couple isn't going to make it," people responded. From joint social media accounts to passive-aggressive nitpicking, here are some of the most popular answers.

#1

When the groom smashes the cake into the brides face.

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#2

Having a “fix-it” baby

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#3

When one party starts a fight in order to keep the relationship "interesting" or "spice things up". While conflicts or arguments are pretty normal, starting up one for the sake of not having a "boring relationship" is bonkers to me.

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#4

Controlling the other’s actions.

Won’t let them see friends/family, do hobbies or really anything alone and for themselves.

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#5

When they take constant little digs at each other in a group setting. They may even claim to be joking, but you can tell they're not.

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#6

When they're far more concerned about the wedding than the marriage...

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#7

One that I haven't seen mentioned yet: When the mother, family, or friend(s) dictates the relationship. I understand pointing out legitimate concerns/red flags out of concern. But the amount of jealousy and toxic behavior I come across on reddit of the mother/family/friend intentionally ruining the relationship with the help of the s/o is insane.

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#8

I was hanging out with someone, cooking and she said "Oh, take a video of me stirring this so that *boyfriend* knows that I'm actually doing what I said I was doing and not out cheating on him." Or something akin to that. They also bought a house together within 6 months.

#9

When they don't do ANYTHING without the other one there.

Get a haircut, visit family, hang with friends etc

ALWAYS together.

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#10

Heard a female friend say about her fiancee, "oh he's my little project."

Lasted just over a year. S.h.o.c.k.i.n.g

#11

Point scoring. Keeping track of who won the argument, who spent last weekend with friends and for how long, snippy jabs about those things in front of friends and family. Then when an argument inevitably breaks out, bringing out that mental tally and using it as verbal weapon to ‘win the argument’

Seen in happen in a few couples now. All divorced within 10 years

#12

Every time they argue, one of them starts talking about divorce.

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#13

Excessive humble-bragging posts. Almost all the couples I’ve seen who do that on my social media, are now broken up. I can’t help but feel like there’s a correlation.

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#14

“I have to ask my husband if I can go.”

One party gets mad if the other even so much as looks at another person or even has a celebrity crush or something

Joint Facebook accounts

Every post they make is about how much they’re in love

They only talk about each other or their relationship

One of them has a substance problem

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#15

Not giving each other the benefit of the doubt when a miscommunication or something happens. Quick to just assume the worse or habits.

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#16

Passive aggressive nitpicking

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#17

His $700 Only Fans monthly bill. Their wedding is in July.

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#18

When the girl has abandoned her own identity to cater to what he wants

#19

When they have vastly different life/family goals. For example, one wants children and the other doesn’t.

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#20

Correcting each other in public when it's unnecessary. "Joking" but really being mean. Sly comments and put downs..."oh we just joke around like that". Ok.

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#21

They already fantasize about being with other people.

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#22

Kissing photos on social media the first week of dating

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#23

Contempt for the other persons hobbies, job, friends, values, abilities...

#24

Joint social media account

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#25

When they consistently put the other one down in front of friends or family

#26

One party making a whole f**kton of concessions for the other, and that being unidirectional. One person is compromising, but the other is just taking and taking and getting everything they want with no compromise in return.

Desperate people let themselves get taken advantage of because they're worried they'll never find another partner, or they'll be too old to have kids soon, or whatever. The second someone who isn't selfish comes along to attract the downtrodden partner, or when the selfish prick hits them or some other such Rubicon crossing, the relationship falls apart like wet tissue paper.

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#27

When one of them controls what the other one wears publicly like it’s normal.

#28

Reading the AITAH threads and reading all the, "My spouse suggested we open the marriage up to explore [reasons]" posts.

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#29

Surprised no one has said matching tattoos yet.

#30

Coming on here to ask for marital advice.

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#31

Power imbalance.

It could come from anywhere; differences in education, appearance, earning ability, social skills, level of luck, amount of self-discipline, mismatched libidos, ability to lie, deceive, gaslight….

When there’s an inequality in power, there’s a chance for contempt to plant a seed. Once there’s a seed of contempt, the relationship is doomed.

Have seem this so many times.

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#32

Correcting minor, irrelevant details when the other is telling a story to a seperate group.

"So last Thursday, we went to the Olive Garden, and just as the breadsticks arrived, you wouldn't believe it but my old college roommate who I haven't seen in years, gets seated at the table next to us!"

"Actually honey, it was when the salad arrived."

#33

When my ex best friend said she was mad at her girl so while her girl was driving she sat in the passenger seat and put the car in park. Also had the cops called on them a couple of times. Still together, always post captions like “we have our hard times but we are so strong together” give me a break

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#34

If they have strongly conflicted plans for their future. Either means they'll break up eventually or one or both of them will end up in an unhappy compromise.

#35

Denying anything could ever be wrong

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#36

When they constantly talk to other people about problems in the relationship.

#37

Money handling differences. A spender paired with a saver is a recipe for fights.

What's even worse--two spenders. "What I'M buying is fun, what YOU'RE buying is stupid!"

#38

Constant arguments, distancing from eachother, no chemistry anymore.

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#39

Any sort of 'he/she doesn't do the chores'. If the issue is big enough they tell friends about it, then communication usually isn't possible or isn't productive. Eventually someone's going to be pissed about the greasy pan being put on a sink full of soapy dishes, and that's that.

#40

Contempt.

#41

Husband stops doing chores, wife loses attraction, dead bedroom, husband becomes resentful, wife feels pestered.

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#42

Constantly plastering their relationship all over social media. Constantly one being needy or controlling or manipulative.

#43

When one refuses to even listen to the advice of the other, or, to be more obvious, when there is a lot of cheating

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#44

Not being mentally/morally strong enough to have "their" wedding they way "they" want it and caving in to the 'mommies' who have always dreamt how their child's wedding would be.

#45

Moving too fast

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#46

“We’ve *definitely* had our ups and downs!”

And exclusively refer to each other as King/Queen

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#47

When people at the wedding whisper "Pray to gawd, she never has kids!"

Edit: Adding the second comment: "She's gonna take him for everything he's got."