People Online Are Pointing Out Signs That An Adult Is Not Acting His Age, So Here Are 32 Signs Of Emotional And Mental Immaturity


Childhood and youth have their charm and supply most of us with memories that, if not always magical, are vivid and emotionally charged. There are so many things we love in children - openness to experiences, energy, and lightheartedness. These are all positive things. However, they have to be supplemented with other character traits and skills once people grow up. Otherwise, someone who is mature physically can appear to be just a little child emotionally and mentally. Identifying such character traits in you or your partner can be a first step towards dealing with difficult situations and maybe finally… growing up. People in this Reddit thread brought up 32 indications that a person is emotionally immature.


More info: Reddit


#1

Being an Andrew Tate fan


Andrew Tate, a social media influencer and a former professional kickboxer, is a self-described misogynist. He says women belong at home, can’t drive, and are a man’s property. He was arrested in 2022 in Romania. He is suspected of human trafficking and forming an organized crime group. Still, his videos have 11.6 billion views on TikTok.

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#2

Reacts badly to hearing “no” instead of calmly accepting it like an adult.

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#3

Being quick to anger which results into destroying things like punching holes in walls or breaking furniture. Added bonus when they aren't the ones who fix their messes.

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#4

He thinks periods are ick and throws a tantrum if you send him out to pick up tampons.

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#5

Has to be asked to clean up or otherwise contribute.

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#6

When he never admits he's wrong. Also, a lack of emotional regulation. A mature man is able to understand his emotions, process them and properly communicate them.

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#7

Misogyny and racism.

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#8

This sounds dumb but playing a game with him. Like a simple no stakes card/board game. If he throws a hissy fit because he didn’t win (especially if he’s never played before) he is immature and shows his true personality.

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#9

Avoiding responsibility. No accountability for his own actions.

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#10

Insecurity. They brag or show off, especially to other men or about ‘macho’ things- how many women they have [made love] with, women they want to [make love] with (yeah, Charlize Theron is going go for a dude with a neckbeard), how tough they are, their truck / guns/ love of MMA. Performative masculinity.


Or conversely they try to build themselves up by putting others down. Some men do this really obviously. But with some men, it’s more subtle. They seem like an ok guy, then out of left field ‘women take good men for granted and just want a wallet.’


Obviously, all men don’t have fragile male egos. But the ones who do are insufferable.

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#11

Thinking that watching him do something he enjoys but that you can't join in with is going to be the highlight of your night. This is a toddler showing off in front of mom so that she'll lavish him with praise. If he's this self-centered when he's being nice imagine what a nightmare he is when he's throwing a tantrum.

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#12

Victim mentality. Somehow his ex’s are always the one who have done him wrong. Not knowing how to realize or articulate their emotions. No ambition AND no action towards making those ambitions reality.

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#13

Calling women "females", describing themselves as traditional in terms of relationships or gender roles, or wanting a relationship just to have children.

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#14

Has a child-like temperament and can't delay gratification. It's always concerning when he can't excersize restraint.

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#15

Black and white thinking. Not taking accountability for their actions and always finding a way to blame someone else for their mistakes. Refuses to apologize or “I’m sorry you feel that way” apologies. Won’t listen to or seems uninterested in your opinions. dismisses or invalidates your feelings. Oblivious to emotional or social cues after repeated attempts or conversations. Disrespects or argues against your boundaries.

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#16

Cheating, lying about cheating, using health issues as an excuse to cheat, talking to other girls on Bumble while laying next to you in bed on vacation after flying down to visit.

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#17

He keeps saying "I understand what you're saying/feeling," then in the next breath says something that proves himself wrong.

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#18

Everything is a joke to him.


Humor can help release tension or to express one’s feelings without fully committing to them. However, it can and often is used to disguise the truth, keep another person at distance, distract oneself from engaging with feelings behind the joke, and avoid self-awareness.

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#19

Damn. This brought me back to four months ago when I was googling “is he too emotionally guarded for a relationship,” without realizing that really his lack of affection was because he had a whole other relationship outside of me.


Anyway, a few things:


- He treats you based on how he’s feeling, justifies his behavior on how he’s feeling


- Instead of making you a priority, he explains his lack of effort with excuses


- Disappears whenever you have a serious conversation or are addressing a conflict


- Does not hold space or empathy for your emotional wounds & intensities


- References past loves just a little too much


- Claims being “emotional” is something they’ve grown out of


- Does not respect your time, aka doesn’t plan dates in advance; doesn’t make a routine out of your time together (aka seeing each other every weekend); you’re often waiting for them to initiate plans either the day of or the night before

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#20

Hot headed, can't apologize, doesn't know how to clean, needs you to be a parent to him, doesn't take care of himself/ doesn't try to improve in life ECT ECT. (This doesn't just apply to men though)

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#21

Dating a significantly younger girl and then lying to his mother and friends about your age because he’s not comfortable with telling them your real age because deep down he knows it’s wrong (an actual experience)

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#22

When he's lived at his apartment for a period of time & it looks like he just moved in. Stuff still in bins/containers. A single couch, TV, & gaming system in his living room, little to no other furniture. No pillowcases, sheets on the bed, or just a mattress on the floor. Nothing on the walls except a few Kobe Bryant posters. Piles of laundry everywhere, piles of dishes everywhere. Hanging bed sheets in place of curtains, or no curtains at all. Messy floors & counters, stains, etc. Only knows how to cook kraft dinner & frozen pizza.

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#23

That he can’t accept when a woman expresses that she doesn’t want a romantic relationship with him and that she doesn’t want to remain in contact with him. So he takes the “biggest sore loser” approach and makes up stories about her/talks trash about her on social media and to anyone who will listen. Then he claims himself to be the victim and she is the one who “ruined his life.”

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#24

Gets angry at you after you tell them the way you feel during a disagreement.

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#25

Using all kinds of excuses to act poorly. His mental health, his parents, past relationships, you, etc etc. All people have their scars but an adult recognizes them, takes ownership/accountability for them and takes action to make themselves better.

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#26

Anytime you want to talk about something serious or something that’s bothering you, he’ll deflect and try to change the subject or ignore you because they don’t like dealing with uncomfortable situations.

#27

Controlling, jealous, lacks consideration for the input of others, can't or won't take care of himself, can't fathom somebody having a different opinion than him without taking it as a personal attack, continually dates women or men a LOT younger than himself, can't stand opposition or to be told no, blames others for his own actions, angers quickly and/or violently, and can't hold down a job among a few.

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#28

When having those emotionally deep conversations or being vulnerable with them. They laugh it off, dismiss it, change the subject, or try to debate it like your feelings aren't really your feelings. They could also blow up and become mad or upset at these feelings too. Instead of empathizing, understanding, or trying to comprehend what you are feeling.


They will side step any emotional depth and keep everything surface level or compensate by being overly sexual. Because emotional vulnerability is really scary for them /s so they gave to compensate with the physical vulnerable by being a gross creepy perv.


They will have an excuse for everything. And nothing is ever their fault. So being broke in mountains of debt and unemployed. Is because of circumstance not because of their own choices and decisions. And not understanding the amount of s**t they are really in.

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#29

When he cannot give a straightforward answer

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#30

Ghosting,

Lies

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#31

He gets mad over a parking spot.

#32

Someone who feels the need to play devil's advocate.

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