This Australian IG Account Documents Ugly Houses In Melbourne, And They Are So Bad, It’s Hilarious (89 Pics)


Not everything in Australia is "upside down". Sure, their Christmas is in the summer and they might have a BBQ to celebrate it, but in some ways, they're just like us Northern Hemisphere folks. Our fascination with bad architecture, for example, is equally obsessive.


Turns out, the Irish, Belgians, and Dutch aren't the only ones shaming their native buildings on Instagram. There's an account called Ugly Melbourne Houses doing precisely the same on the other end of the world.


Taste is universal. I know. But ironically, it's what allows this online project to make fun of the houses it wants to. Here are some of them!


More info: Instagram


#1 Amy's Winehouse


Image credits: uglymelbournehouses


#2 They Forgot The Plaster Lions


Image credits: uglymelbournehouses


#3 Picasso's Lovechild


Image credits: uglymelbournehouses


#4 How's Everyone's Week Been? Chaotic? Jumbled? Overly Complicated? Yep. Me Too


Image credits: uglymelbournehouses


#5 Proudness Doesn't Even Begin To Describe How I'm Feeling After Receiving This Piece Of Moderne Arte Collage In My Inbox


Image credits: uglymelbournehouses


#6 When A Friend Doesn't Invite You To Their House And You're Really Quite Relieved About It Actually


Image credits: uglymelbournehouses


#7 Those Aren't Balconies, They’re Actually Hay Feeders For Giraffes


Image credits: uglymelbournehouses


#8 Every Time I Try To Build A Custom Sims House


Image credits: uglymelbournehouses


#9 Hang On. Wait... What?! Your Therapist And Your Massive Inflatable Santa Supplier Are The Same Person?!


Image credits: uglymelbournehouses


#10 Cheeky Brick Butt Cheeks Wrapped In An Oh-So-Saucy Garter Belt Portico


Image credits: uglymelbournehouses


#11 Some Cardboard Boxes On A Rocky Outcrop


Image credits: uglymelbournehouses


#12 I Think They Could've Squeezed Another One In


Image credits: uglymelbournehouses


#13 Wizard's Spaceship Marina Rocket Discoteque Pants Hot Tub Balcony Time Machine Post Moderne


Image credits: uglymelbournehouses


#14 If Large Cars = Small-Membered Owners, What On Earth Does This Symbolise?


Image credits: uglymelbournehouses


#15 Perfectly Pitched For A Neighbourhood Near You


Image credits: uglymelbournehouses


#16 That’s A Serious Sixpack


Image credits: uglymelbournehouses


#17 Anyone Got An Id On This LEGO Set?


Image credits: uglymelbournehouses


#18 The Hills Have Eyes


Image credits: uglymelbournehouses


#19 It Looks Like A Shower


Image credits: uglymelbournehouses


#20 Intergalactic Evil Mammoth Boxy Square Bonnet Wearing Robot Worm Computer Mansion


Image credits: uglymelbournehouses


#21 Mary Poppins’ Lsd Dreamland Winky Wonky Summertime Lovin’ Peculiar Palazzo-A-Palooza


Image credits: uglymelbournehouses


#22 Knit My Bricks Up


Image credits: uglymelbournehouses


#23 Life Is Just About Trying To Do The Very Best You Can Do With The Size Of Window That You Have


Image credits: uglymelbournehouses


#24 Everybody Who Lives Here Loves Maths


Image credits: uglymelbournehouses


#25 This House Never Skips Column Day


Image credits: uglymelbournehouses


#26 Business In The Front, Party In The Back


Image credits: uglymelbournehouses


#27 Your Dreams Are Like The Left Half Of This “Balcony”... Totally Pointless And Likely To Result In Horrific Injury If You Dwell On Them For Too Long


Image credits: uglymelbournehouses


#28 All Roads Lead To Somewhere In South Australia


Image credits: uglymelbournehouses


#29 Golden Graytime Jazzercise Spacesuit Jumpsuit Wangle Angle Window Panels A La Clipped Clop Shrubbery-Au-Go-Go


Image credits: uglymelbournehouses


#30 Barbie's Dream House


Image credits: uglymelbournehouses


#31 Melborgian "Trying To Take Your Underpants Off Without Taking Your Trousers Off First" Robot Moderne


Image credits: uglymelbournehouses


#32 Nuthin Ron With This


Image credits: uglymelbournehouses


#33 Caravan Of Courage


Image credits: uglymelbournehouses


#34 Animal Print Is A Neutral


Image credits: uglymelbournehouses


#35 Incomplete Spacestationist Moderne


Image credits: uglymelbournehouses


#36 Maison De La Razor Sharp Deep Space Accountant’s Lunchtime Workout Shellsuit Tracksuit Jumpsuit Pants Suit A La Angles De La Bangles


Image credits: uglymelbournehouses


#37 When It's Only Wednesday But Your Column Just Thinking 'Bout The Weekend


Image credits: uglymelbournehouses


#38 1980s Beige Tubular Trouser Slacks Columns Giraffe Compliant Accounting Conference Centre Post Moderne


Image credits: uglymelbournehouses


#39 High Tight Brick Pants


Image credits: uglymelbournehouses


#40 Sometimes The Biggest Risks We Take Are Those We Take With Our Hearts. Our Canopies. And All Those Other Bits. Everywhere


Image credits: uglymelbournehouses


#41 When Your Dating Profile Said “Homely”, I Didn’t Think It Would Actually Mean “Massive, Vacant, And Covered In Tatts”


Image credits: uglymelbournehouses


#42 Exactly The Correct Amount Of Quite A Lot Of Garages


Image credits: uglymelbournehouses


#43 Mix N' Match Tiny Hamptons Picnic Time Active Wear Tracksuit Pants Moderne


Image credits: uglymelbournehouses


#44 The Correct Amount Of Massively Over-Scaled Balcony Addition


Image credits: uglymelbournehouses


#45 Giants Also Need Homes


Image credits: uglymelbournehouses


#46 Cloudsome


Image credits: uglymelbournehouses


#47 How's Everyone's Week Been? Inexplicably Complicated? Full Of Giant Setbacks? Lacking Any Real Over-Arching Logical Thematic Or Stylistic Aesthetic Direction? Yeh Mine Too


Image credits: uglymelbournehouses


#48 Are Your Friends Hassling You To Have A Big One Tonight? But You’re Feeling A Little Too Dilapidated Castle... Why Not Stay In And Relax. You’ll Feel A Lot Less Overgrown And Smelling Like Something Died Inside You Tomorrow Morning


Image credits: uglymelbournehouses


#49 Nice Hat Dude


Image credits: uglymelbournehouses


#50 In N' Out Under Over-Deconstructionism-Ness


Image credits: uglymelbournehouses


#51 Are You Struggling To Go Beyond One Word Descriptors For Fugly Houses You Encounter?


Image credits: uglymelbournehouses


#52 And On The Eighth Day, The Awlmitey Created Faux Neo Baroque Open Roller Disco Porticos


Image credits: uglymelbournehouses


#53 Aqua Marina Moque Tudor Wizard


Image credits: uglymelbournehouses


#54 The Empire Sets Back


Image credits: uglymelbournehouses


#55 The Correct Amount Of Miniature Grand Ceremonial Arch


Image credits: uglymelbournehouses


#56 Colonel Pistachio’s Tudor Turrets Raise Up My Peppermint Helicopter Roller Disco Roundabout


Image credits: uglymelbournehouses


#57 Robot Winter Is Coming


Image credits: uglymelbournehouses


#58 How’s Everyone’s Week Been? Exciting With Lots Of Variety? Or Just Pretty Much Exactly The Same With Very Slight Shades Of Difference


Image credits: uglymelbournehouses


#59 Stay Strong Old Fella... That Concrete Panel Wall Is Probably More Scared Of You Than You Are Of Him


Image credits: uglymelbournehouses


#60 We All Need A Friend Who's Always There To Temporarily Support Your Facade


Image credits: uglymelbournehouses


#61 A Short Time Ago, In A Suburb Not That Far Far Away


Image credits: uglymelbournehouses


#62 Seamlessness-Ness


Image credits: uglymelbournehouses


#63 Something Something Windows


Image credits: uglymelbournehouses


#64 It Helps Steer The Eye Away From The 50's Kitchen Table Laminate Facade


Image credits: uglymelbournehouses


#65 Gold Coast House Of The Year


Image credits: uglymelbournehouses


#66 Adidas Tracksuit Pants Moderne


Image credits: uglymelbournehouses


#67 In Life, Most Things Are Half As Good As You Think They’ll Be 50% Of The Time


Image credits: uglymelbournehouses


#68 When You Really Need A Haircut After Lockdown


Image credits: uglymelbournehouses


#69 Don’t Forget People... You’ve Only Got Til June 30 To Make Your Home Giraffe Ready


Image credits: uglymelbournehouses


#70 Dude... You’re Looking Really Tired


Image credits: uglymelbournehouses


#71 Exactly Correctly The Precise Amount Of Just A Bit Too Much Of Not Enough Of The Least Amount Of What Was Required... There


Image credits: uglymelbournehouses


#72 Maison De La Triple Ripple Elongated Bo Beep Mansard Fairy Prairy Princess A La Lovingly Tended White Rose Promendade


Image credits: uglymelbournehouses


#73 You Know When You Try And Assemble Something From A Box And You Always End Up With A Bit Of Some Type Of Roof Left Over At The End And You’re All Like "Hope That Wasn’t Important”


Image credits: uglymelbournehouses


#74 Look At You Four. All Dressed Identically. You Can’t Go Out Like That


Image credits: uglymelbournehouses


#75 Facade Du La Kit Kat


Image credits: uglymelbournehouses


#76 Heritage Hard Drive Moderne


Image credits: uglymelbournehouses


#77 The Best Amount Of Arches


Image credits: uglymelbournehouses


#78 Name A More Iconic Intergalactic Retro Bricky Orangey Deep Fried Space Duo, We'll Wait


Image credits: uglymelbournehouses


#79 A Prickly Situation Waiting To Happen


Image credits: uglymelbournehouses


#80 Wavy Flagstone Spaceship Accountancy Surfshop Conference Centre Moderne


Image credits: uglymelbournehouses


#81 Life Can Sometimes Feel Like You Are Dragging Yourself Up A Hill Sideways Wearing A Heavily Monotoned Concrete Render Suit Weighed Down By A Massively Oversized Entry Portico


Image credits: uglymelbournehouses


#82 Just Because It Looks Like A Giraffe Doesn’t Mean It Has


Image credits: uglymelbournehouses


#83 The Absolute Bare Minimum Amount Of Quite A Lot Of House


Image credits: uglymelbournehouses


#84 2021 Is Gonna Be All About Making Things That Look Like They Shouldn't Be That Complicated Look Slightly More Complicated Than Less Complicated Versions Of A Far More Complicated Version Of Their Most Complicated Self


Image credits: uglymelbournehouses


#85 Like A Putrid Chocolate Milkshake


Image credits: uglymelbournehouses


#86 I Can Pretty Much Do This Job With My Hands Behind My Back


Image credits: uglymelbournehouses


#87 Wonky De-Chopped Sandwiched Double Setbacked Hard Drive Second Hand Business Suit Robot Moderne


Image credits: uglymelbournehouses


#88 Kaptain Kraft Shingles Triple Stacked Soft Buttery Pastel Cheesecake Massive Garage Mcmoderne With A Side Of Unfinished Landscape Dressings


Image credits: uglymelbournehouses


#89 My Mate Dave Has A Tyreless-Less Devotion To His Front Garden


Image credits: uglymelbournehouses