“I’m Not His Personal Secretary”: Woman Shares List Of Things She Refuses To Do For Her Husband

A woman has sparked a debate about married life and the division of household chores after sharing a list of things she refuses to do for her husband.     Paige Turner, a working mom-of-four who creates content focused on parenting and relationships, took to TikTok to state, loud and clear, that she’s not interested in playing the role of her husband’s mother.

As Paige explained, household tasks don’t equate to acts of kindness. 

“Small acts of kindness that are mostly domestic labor just add up to work at the end of the day,” she said.

First of all, Paige doesn’t do her husband’s laundry.

A mom has ignited a debate about married life and household tasks after sharing a list of things she doesn’t do for her husband

Image credits: sheisapaigeturner

“He can do that himself. I do my laundry, and we do the kids’ laundry. But he does his own.”

She also doesn’t cook dinner for her partner.

“He cooks dinner every single night. I do breakfast and lunch for us and our kids. I don’t pack him lunch: if he’s hungry, he’ll figure out what he’s gonna eat the same way that I do.”

Furthermore, she doesn’t call the doctor or dentist to book him an appointment.

“I don’t make his doctor’s appointments because guess what? He’s not making mine. Would it be kind for me to do that? For sure. Is it my job? Absolutely not.

“I want him to be healthy, but he’s a grown a** man and can book his own appointments.”

The woman, Paige Turner, said she doesn’t do her husband’s laundry

Image credits: Photo Season/stock.adobe.com

The content creator doesn’t pack her husband’s clothes for vacation, schedule his haircuts, or replace his underwear when it’s got holes in it, either.

Paige went on to clarify that she shows her love to her husband in ways other than domestic tasks.

“If I see a vinyl that I think he’s gonna like, I buy it. I’m at the store and I see something that I think he might enjoy eating, I buy it. I find a non-alcoholic beer that he wants to try out, I buy it.

“Those are small acts of kindness. Doing his laundry, cooking him dinner, making him lunch, booking his doctor’s appointments, that’s domestic labor. Those are chores, not acts of kindness.”

“He can do that himself. I do my laundry, and we do the kids’ laundry. But he does his own”

Image credits: sheisapaigeturner

While Paige may occasionally make an exception when her husband is exhausted after a really long day at work, she’s not planning on being his “personal secretary or assistant.”

“If it goes both ways, fantastic. But oftentimes, domestic labor, especially when you have children, adds up.

“I am his partner. I am his equal, and I do not have to do things to cater to him and serve him at all times to be kind and loving.”

Paige also doesn’t cook dinner for her partner, book his appointments, pack his clothes for a vacation, or replace his old underwear

Image credits: Katecat/stock.adobe.com

In the comments, many people supported the working mom, emphasizing that they also refuse to take on an unfair share of housework.

“The fact that people are shocked by this SENDS ME. I cannot fathom making his appointments or lunches. Laundry we trade off on who does it and it’s pretty even,” one person penned.

“Finally someone gets me. They always make me feel less of a ‘good wife’ for doing this,” another woman wrote.

“Preach. Parentifying your spouse is such a turn off,” a third individual commented.

“Those are chores, not acts of kindness. I am his equal, and I do not have to do things to cater to him and serve him at all times to be kind and loving,” she said

Image credits: sheisapaigeturner

Another person shared their perspective on what truly defines a “small act of kindness,” an opinion that resonated with many.

“Small acts of kindness are only small when they don’t usually fall on you and it’s reciprocated.”

“Some wives pack for their husbands or schedule their haircuts?????? That’s actually insane,” a separate TikTok user chimed in.

The mom-of-four said she expresses her love by surprising her husband with gifts, like buying a vinyl record for his collection

Image credits: sheisapaigeturner

Watch Paige’s video below:

@sheisapaigeturner Replying to @rafael it’s important to show your partner, love and kindness. And I believe in small acts of kindness for a partners. However, expecting your partner to do your laundry and all of the cooking and all of the cleaning, is not the same qe small acts of kindness. All of those things are domestic labor and then when add it up, create a lot of work. #domesticlabor #actsofkindness #actsofservice #marriagegoals #fairplay #millennialmom #mentalload #laundry ♬ original sound – Paige

But there was also a smaller group who disagreed with Paige’s stance.

“I’m a stay at home wife. I do all those things plus more and I’m very happy. If I get overwhelmed, he always steps up and helps me though. Every marriage is different,” wrote one woman. 

“I take pride in doing all of those things for my husband. In fact, I’ll do it for my grown children too!” said another.

“Running a relationship like a business. Got it,” a separate user commented, to which someone responded, “Sounds like they have found a healthy balance with no resentment.”

Then, user @Tash0424 asked Paige a pressing question about her husband: “Does he have a single brother who also understands this?”

“I can’t believe people are shocked by this,” a social media user wrote

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